“None of the Kids My Age Got It”: How Carter Found Connection After Losing His Dad

When Carter first walked through the doors at after losing his dad, he expected grief support to feel uncomfortable, quiet, and sad.

“I was skeptical because talking about feelings wasn’t necessarily my thing,” Carter says. “I thought it was gonna be sad and just kind of mopey.”

Instead, he found something completely different.

“It was the complete opposite of what I thought it was going to be,” he says. “I was able to talk. I felt comfortable.”

Carter lost his dad on March 10, 2021, when he was just 13 years old. Soon after, he started attending Valerie’s House grief support groups in Southwest Florida. Today, at 19, he has become one of the organization’s Teen Ambassadors and Group Buddies, helping younger grieving kids feel less alone.

“The biggest thing was I didn’t have anybody I could talk to other than family, because none of the kids my age got it,” Carter says. “They didn’t understand. They didn’t know what it was like.”

At Valerie’s House, that changed quickly.

“Some of them had very, very, very similar stories to me,” he says. “Stepparents, all that. I met people that were just like me.”

What surprised Carter most was realizing grief support groups weren’t only about sadness.

“There was joy too,” he says. “All the activities were fun.”

One activity still makes him laugh years later.

“We had a whiteboard and some cotton balls, and there was a target. We would throw them at it,” Carter says. “It was one of my favorite activities we ever did.”

The friendships he built during group nights became one of the most important parts of his healing journey.

“All the kids that I met in group, we’re lifelong friends,” Carter says. “Whenever I was sad, I would go talk to them. That just shows some of the connections you make here.”

Now serving in a leadership role at Valerie’s House, Carter says there’s something powerful about younger kids hearing his story during check-ins.

“When I say, ‘My dad died,’ and then I say I’m 19, they see that I’m not that far from them,” Carter says. “It’s definitely an eye-opener for them.”

Carter says volunteering and giving back has become healing in its own way.

“There’s absolutely a healing nature in giving back,” he says. “Your family grows every time there’s a new group, every time a new family walks in. Your family just gets bigger and bigger.”

One of his favorite memories at Valerie’s House involved families piecing broken pottery back together during a group activity.

“You can’t go back to normal,” Carter says. “But certain things bring you back together.”

As he looks toward the future, Carter says he hopes Valerie’s House always remains part of his life.

“No matter where I’m at, I try to help other people when I can,” he says. “I want to continue to volunteer at Valerie’s House.”

Watch this story featuring Carter and other Valerie’s House Teen Ambassadors.