“Filling My Soul Through Service” — Volunteer Lori Gian’s Journey at Valerie’s House

When Lori Gian became an empty nester, she found herself asking a powerful question: “What really lights me up?”

A lifelong volunteer, Girl Scout leader, birth doula, occupational therapist, and hospice worker, Lori was no stranger to supporting others through life’s transitions. But after helping a close friend through her final days, Lori embraced a new role—one that would ultimately lead her to Valerie’s House.

“I kind of became a death doula,” Lori says. “After my friend passed away, I started to get interested in how can I be of service with people who are dealing with grief.”

That calling brought her to our Naples location about a year ago, where she now helps facilitate groups for young children.

She still remembers her very first night.

“This will never leave my existence,” she says. “I was in the group with the littles, 5-year-old kids… This little boy, five years old, comes up and says, ‘Yes, my dad loved motorcycles. One day he went out on his motorcycle and he went up a bump and he went up in the air, came down and died.’ And it was like, so, as a matter of fact, as a matter of what happened. He was able to not only articulate it, but really be okay with the conversation around it and understanding his dad died doing what he loved.”

For Lori, it was a defining moment.

“It just lit me up and I was like, this is where I need to be.”

Lori has brought her natural ability to lead and listen to every group she’s been part of since then. As an occupational therapist with decades of group facilitation experience, she understands how to help kids feel safe expressing their grief while building meaningful connections with others.

“It fills my soul. It’s the volunteers, it’s the kids. It’s being able to just be the person to help facilitate them sharing with each other and bringing that connection in… This fills my empty nest in a way, but also fulfills my soul.”

When asked how Valerie’s House has impacted her personally, she puts it simply: “Purpose. Number one.”

She also gives credit to Mary, a fellow group facilitator in Naples, for seeing that passion and keeping her involved in new ways—like helping to coordinate a holiday gift drive.

“I did the thing for her… people brought gifts at the Pavilion movie theater. That lights me up—to network and let people know that this is a worthwhile cause.”

To those unsure about volunteering because of the subject of death, Lori offers this encouragement:

“It’s more about the after the death. It’s how to manage the grief… And I think also giving kids hope. That there is life after this trauma that happened to them.”

Lori calls her work at Valerie’s House a “great honor,” especially when she sees how much it matters to families.

“I’ve learned how a simple gesture could really change a person’s outlook and perspective on things. And I feel honored to be that person.”

She also sees her work here as part of a larger mission to help normalize conversations about death and grief—especially for children.

“Let’s normalize death like we normalize life, and I think this place gives us that opportunity.”

As Lori looks ahead to another semester of volunteering, she has one message for the families of Valerie’s House:

“Come back. Come back and use the tools that we’ve given them here to really cement this kind of conversation. Every journey has the respect and needs the respect. No two families are the same. No two deaths are the same. No two experiences are the same.”