Finding Joy Again After Losing Mom

After Brittany died, Tanner and his three daughters had to learn how to live with their grief together. That included something he hadn’t expected: learning that it was okay to laugh and feel joy again.

“We don’t have to stop missing Brittany in order to laugh, make memories, have fun or be excited about our future,” Tanner said.

Through grief support at Valerie’s House in Fort Myers, the family found a place where they could miss Brittany, talk about their feelings and build friendships with people who understood.

Remembering the Love She Gave Them

Tanner describes Brittany as kind, gentle and deeply empathetic. She was an attentive mother who always seemed to know what their girls needed.

“So much of who our girls are today comes from the love she poured into them,” he said.

After her death, Tanner was trying to care for three grieving children while carrying his own grief. One of the hardest parts was finding enough time to give each daughter the attention and presence she needed.

“There are only so many hours in a day and wanting to make sure each of them feels seen, heard and cared for is something I think about constantly,” he said.

Finding Grief Support at Valerie’s House

A counselor recommended Valerie’s House shortly after Brittany died. The girls were hesitant at first because they didn’t know what to expect.

Tanner wanted them to have a choice. He encouraged them to visit, give it a chance and see how they felt.

From that first visit, he noticed they felt comfortable almost immediately.

Being around other children who had experienced a death in their families gave the girls a place where they didn’t have to explain why their lives looked different.

“They don’t have to explain why their family looks different now or feel like they are the only kid carrying something this heavy,” Tanner said.

The girls developed friendships and became more comfortable talking about their grief and feelings. There was room for sadness, anger and confusion, alongside memories, laughter and fun.

Before long, group nights and counseling nights became something they looked forward to.

“Over time Valerie’s House has become a second home to us.”

A Community They Keep Coming Back To

Today, Valerie’s House is part of the family’s routine. It’s a place where Tanner and his daughters can show up as they are and know they belong.

“At this point it doesn’t feel like somewhere we go because something bad happened to us, it feels more like a community that has become part of our lives,” he said.

For Tanner, one of the biggest lessons has been that grief and joy can coexist. His family can continue loving and remembering Brittany while making new memories and looking forward to their future.

“We will always carry Brittany with us,” he said. “Valerie’s House has helped us understand that carrying her with us and continuing to live fully are not opposites.”

Valerie’s House provides support at no cost to grieving children and families in Southwest Florida. If your family is grieving the death of someone you love, connect with Valerie’s House to learn more about support.