Valerie’s House in Naples helps those grieving loved ones

 
 

May marks the start of mental health awareness month, and one group is working to help people understand how unresolved grief plays a role in mental health.

Haley Thalheimer spends a lot of time at Valerie’s House in Naples.

“My dad actually died when I was 11 years old.. and so, just kind of thought that someone was like, you need to hear about Valerie’s House,” Thalheimer said.

She’s on the advisory board and volunteers to help lead group nights at Valerie’s House. She told WINK News being the support system she needed when she was younger means everything to her.

“The subject or the stigma around death.. there’s a lot around it, in our culture, in our country, in society. As a child, I was fortunate enough to go to therapy and to be able to have that support, but it was just me. I had no one my age or no one in my grade, aside from family members, who understood what I was going through,” Thalheimer said.

Valerie’s House plays a huge role in helping people understand how unresolved grief can impact mental health.

“For these children to have a network of support, a network of their peers to support them.. is just incredible. And I really do believe it will change the course of their lives forever,” Thalheimer said.

“When you were sitting in a circle of peers, and they can say, me, too, yeah, I feel angry, too, yeah, I’m happy, but then I feel guilty that I’m happy, it’s powerful. So, then you know that you are not alone,” Sarah Andrus, the director of Valerie’s House, said

And that’s a gift that kids in grief can depend on.

The folks at Valerie’s House told WINK News they eventually plan to expand and offer grief support counseling in areas like Immokalee, Golden Gate, and Marco Island.

Link to the WINK News article: https://winknews.com/2023/05/01/may-is-mental-health-awareness-month/?fbclid=IwAR2vxF-gnOxbDLMjDcnu9IQx5x-7uC313HoiyfJzvCGVbOc0zbThFSCCi18

Valerie’s House helps grieving wife, mother, journey on

Cape Coral widowed mom of four works through heartbreaking tragedy to finish law degree for self and family

By DEVON CRUMPACKER | Apr 21, 2023

“I had to keep moving. Or else I just would have laid there. I had to keep moving forward,” said Rochelle Pitts from the front steps of a large, old Florida home in downtown Fort Myers, known as Valerie’s House. Rochelle was there to be sworn in as an attorney, having just passed the Florida bar. But she was thinking back on what it took, in the face of immense tragedy, for the widowed mother of four to get to that point.

Just before Christmas, in December, 2020, Rochelle’s husband, Jesse Pitts, died after a car crash on his way home from work. He was 32 years old.

Rochelle was 30.

The couple had three children together–two girls and a boy–and Rochelle was pregnant with their fourth, a girl. Rochelle was also days away from beginning her final semester of law school at Ave Maria School of Law.

Her husband’s healthy organs helped save the lives of four others on Christmas day that year, as he was able to donate his heart, liver and kidneys.

But, for Rochelle, a bleak new reality was beginning to set in.

And processing it all was nearly impossible.

She had waited by his side for three days as he lie in a hospital bed on a ventilator, waiting for the organ removal procedure. She already knew there was nothing else the doctors could do for him at that point. Still, she stayed with him those three days. She laid next to him. She held him. She placed his hand on her belly to feel their unborn baby. And then, eventually, it was over. And it was just Rochelle and her kids.

She couldn’t sleep. Guilt wracked her conscious. Her life didn’t seem real. It was a horrible dream. Everything was coming at her all at once, and she needed a way out, a plan. So, in a moment of despair, at 6 in the morning, crying, she called her old boss, Allan Parvey. It was Parvey who got Rochelle in touch with Valerie’s House.

Founded in 2016 by Angela Melvin, Valerie’s House provides open-ended peer support groups and activities for children and families in hopes of helping them heal after a significant loss in their lives. It seeks to provide a sense of community and a platform for individuals to come together, share, and mentor each other through their grief.

“It’s a place where people come to not feel alone,” said Melvin of Valerie’s House. “Grieving families can come together here, and bond, and become friends.”

Melvin was inspired to found Valerie’s House after examining her own experience with grief, having lost her mother, Valerie, to a car accident when she was just a young girl.

“In Fort Myers, we didn’t have anything like this back in 1987,” said Melvin of Valerie’s House to the crowd of friends and family gathered for Rochelle’s swearing in ceremony. “But we’re not alone anymore.”

Rochelle said she immediately took to the Valerie’s House style of coping with grief. She said there’s no placating, or patronizing at Valerie’s House. Grieving people are allowed to feel their feelings. Phrases like, you’ll feel better, or time will heal it aren’t part of curriculum.

“It was very validating,” said Rochelle. “If I feel like crying, I’m going to cry. I’ll cry right now if I want to.”

Valerie’s House also represented a small slice of normalcy for Rochelle and her family.

“I needed to find people that were similar ages, and people that actually understood grief,” said Rochelle. “It was the only place we could go and feel normal.”

Rochelle also credited law school and her legal studies in general for giving her life some structure during a time where everything seemed so chaotic.

“I needed someone to tell me, ‘Hey you need to be (in class) at 8 a.m.’ I needed it to function. I needed to be responsible for things.”

Rochelle went on to finish law school and pass the Florida bar exam, studying any moment she could. She would listen to lectures in her car on her way home from work. She would listen to more study material while she made dinner for her kids. She would stay up until almost midnight. She would even teach her kids the law as a type of study exercise on days and nights she wasn’t able to find a babysitter.

“I would sit there and explain the law to them,” Rochelle said. “Because, if I couldn’t explain the law to them, then I wasn’t going to understand the law myself.”

But, Rochelle has banked the hill now, as she was sworn in as an attorney on Friday evening at Valerie’s House by Lee County Circuit Judge Robert Branning. She will go to work at Aloia, Roland, Lubell & Morgan, PLLC, as an associate attorney specializing in personal injury law.

“Not one of us can profess to know what you have been through,” said the firm’s co-founder and senior partner, Ty Roland, who was at the ceremony. “But it certainly feels like it makes sense to be in a place whose mission is to … help people who have suffered unimaginable loss.”

Before the ceremony came to a close, Rochelle confirmed her intent to keep coming to Valerie’s House. She has no illusions about ever fully getting over the tragedy that befell her family. But she knows Valerie’s House can help with that, even if it’s an ongoing battle. That’s why she wants to be there to help others when the situation arises.

“Even if we grow in our journey, we want to keep coming back to help the next family that comes through those doors,” said Rochelle.

Naples Winter Wine Festival to benefit Valerie’s House, bereaved children

The Naples Winter Wine Festival kicks off this week, and 2023 focused on raising money to support children’s mental health. One of those groups helping Southwest Florida kids is Valerie’s House, a nonprofit that provides support for children grieving the death of a loved one.

The first things you notice when you walk into Valerie’s House at 819 Myrtle Terrace in Naples are the bright colors and a sprawling paper tree.

Mackenzie Francois added a green leaf and explained what it represented.

“All the kids come, and they write the loved one’s name on a leaf,” Mackenzie said. Her own leaf is in remembrance of her mother.

“It says ‘love you,’ and I wrote the letters of the song that she and I would sing when I was a kid,” Mackenzie said.

The song is “Because You Loved Me” by Celine Dion. When Mackenzie was 16, her mom suffered a stroke and died months later. Not only did Mackenzie lose the rock in her life, but she also had to move to Southwest Florida from the east coast to live with distant cousins, then enroll in a new school and start over.

Mackenzie describes that time as a blur.

“It was never, like, sitting down and processing, ‘OK, this is what’s happening; this is how we have to move on from this,'” Mackenzie said. “I don’t think that my body really or my mind processed how I was feeling at the time, and so I was kind of on autopilot.”

One month after her mom died, we went into COVID-19 lockdown and school went online.

“It was kind of just me being alone and grieving alone,” Mackenzie said. “And when we went back to school, my counselor told me about Valerie’s House.”

Sarah Andrus is the outreach director at Valerie’s House, which works with bereaved children from 4 to 18.

Mackenzie (Photo Credit: Kelly Jones Photo Naples Photographer)

“We can’t make mom or dad come back, but we can give them ways to still connect and express what they’re thinking and feeling,” Andrus said.

When Hurricane Ian hit, it took an already vulnerable group and ripped away the little sense of security they had left.

“The other layer of the damage, of just personal belongings that belonged to someone who died also being gone and taken away in the flooding and in the damage from the storm… it’s devastating,” Andrus said. “We had some of our caregivers, some of our moms, express [that] ‘We feel like our grief was taken away from us; now we can’t even grieve because we have to rebuild our home or figure out insurance.'”

An estimated 7,000 children in Collier County are grieving the loss of either a parent or sibling, and all those children have memories of their loved ones.

“Lives are changed here,” Mackenzie said. “Every single kid that’s ever walked through these doors… they never left feeling the way they did when they entered; they always left with a smile on their face, maybe a few tears.”

For Mackenzie, Valerie’s House became a home away from home that rooted her.

“I’ve met very wonderful people who helped me, who I would honestly, like, owe them my life,” Mackenzie said.

That’s why the now-college freshman still comes back to volunteer.

WINK News and Gulfshore Life are sponsors of the Naples Winter Wine Festival.

New Year, Same Challenges

 
 

FORT MYERS, Fla. — Chelsea Harper moved to Southwest Florida after being homeless in Michigan, not long after she met her husband, Tim.

They each had two children before, and after they married, they had two children together. Life as they knew it took a turn when their daughter was two.

“My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 throat cancer, HPV positive,” said Harper.

Tim’s cancer spread to his stomach, abdomen, lower back, liver and lungs and his health continued to decline.

“Unfortunately, last year at Christmas time, on Christmas Eve, actually. His oxygen level was extremely low and his heartbeat was extremely high, as if he had been running a marathon. He was only sitting in a chair,” Chelsea said.

The following week he went in for a procedure and doctors nicked something. His lungs started bleeding and they couldn’t control it.

Doctors put Tim in a medically induced coma and on a ventilator. It was only supposed to be for a few days but Tim wasn’t getting better.

“On New Year’s Eve, last year was the first time they almost lost him in the middle of the night. He coded for 45 mins,” she said about her husband.

It happened two nights in a row and doctors couldn’t do anymore, so Chelsea asked if they could make Tim comfortable and let him go peacefully.

She said, “I stayed with him. I felt his last heartbeat, I felt his last breath and I dropped to the floor. I don’t remember much more of that night. It’s. Still, it’s so hard even a year later.”

It all happened around the holidays and the New Year. Three days after Tim passed, his good friend reached out to Chelsea and told her about Valerie’s House in Fort Myers. “We set up a time to meet and it was like immediate family, immediate family.”

It wasn’t easy after the loss she just experienced.

“Our first group night, I actually was going to bring them in and I was going to go sit in my car in the parking lot and wait. But I brought the kids in and we got our name tags and they went off to their groups and I went to my group instead of the parking lot. I was like, wow, they’re literally saying all the feelings that I’m hiding inside.”

When grieving, there are moments of strength and weakness, but because of Valerie’s House, it’s a benefit for Chelsea and her children.

“It’s amazing to watch my kids interact with other children knowing they’re going through the same thing.”

Just like adults, kids grieve too. This new year brings new or the same challenges for families like Chelsea’s.

“My youngest son really struggles. He’s been very angry since my husband passed. That’s just how he copes with it, my youngest daughter. She sings she will sing about anything and everything; she sings about her daddy being in the hospital and he went to heaven,” said Chelsea.

But now every time the holidays and the new year roll around.

“It’s been a year. It’s been over 367 days since my husband passed, and it feels like it’s been 24 hours.”

Her story is a reminder that even though it is the new year and a happy time for some, “I mean even this new year everybody at midnight was like Happy New Year on Facebook, I put “New year… not quite so happy”, because for some of us, it’s not.”

Chelsea says, look out for those who you know are struggling or going through something that’s life-changing like death in the family, loss of their home, the loss of a pet even. “Be there for those people and smile at everybody because you never know how a smile can change someone’s day.”

Fort Myers family has Christmas light show to sponsor grieving family

by Alexia Tsiropoulos

8:34 PM EST, Tue December 13, 2022




But for the McQuade family, it is about more than lighting up the night sky.

These twinkling lights can be seen for miles along Ranchette Road in Fort Myers.

“ I don’t think a lot of people like to take the time to put up all these cool lights so I think it’s really cool they were able to do this,” Adlei said. She was most excited to see Santa Claus.

The McQuade family starts setting up about six weeks in advance before opening their gates. Which many look forward to.

“Adds to the Christmas festivities for the community and for a lot of people there are so many different stories that we hear about how much this is meant to different families and how they’ve been bringing your kids here since they were literally weeks old,” David McQuade said.

But for McQuade and his family, it is about more than just the Christmas carols and glistening lights.

“In past years, we’ve sponsored families that have had children battling cancer,” he said

This year, they worked with Valerie’s House to find the perfect family to sponsor.

“Nicole and her family, She has three children, a Fort Myers family. And we wanted them to not have to worry about anything this Christmas,” Valerie’s House Founder and CEO Angela Melvin said. “We wanted them to have tons of gifts and we wanted them to have dinner.”

She said it was a tough decision picking a family for the McQuade family.

“So many families could benefit from any kind of financial assistance, especially at this time of year,” Melvin said.

McQuade knows the work of putting the thousands of lights in his yard is all for good.

“I wish we could help everybody but if we can make a difference in one person’s life, I mean it’s worth all the time, and all of the effort that we put into it,” He said.

The McQuade family has their light schedule on their Facebook page.

There you learn more about Nicole and her family, as well as when Santa will make a quick stop.

Valerie’s House on Nationally Aired LIVE with Kelly Ripa & Ryan Seacrest Show

What an incredible opportunity for Valerie’s House to have a chance to speak about Valerie’s House and the plight of grieving children on a national level. The live segment below aired in December 2022 and the outpouring of support from around the country after the segment aired was nothing short of extraordinary.

Valerie’s House Volunteer Paying it Forward and Helping Others

Paying kindness forward. A young adult who grew up going to Valerie’s House after her mom died is now starting to volunteer to help other kids dealing with loss.

Thursday was National Children’s Grief Day. It’s not a day to celebrate but to make people stop and think.

The people at Valerie’s House help kids in pain every day.

“I’ve been coming here for seven years. My siblings and I have been coming here for seven years. It’s a place that just changed their life around. It changed my life personally in a way that not a lot of people would have done,” said Josselin Calderon, a volunteer at Valerie’s House.

 
 

Calderon lost her mom when she was 15. Valerie’s House helped her get through it. She said it was her turn to help others.

“Being able to help other kids and show them, hey, look, I was a mess, but I turned out to be just fine, and it’s the same for you. Just take it one day at a time,” Calderon said.

“The kids are so insightful, and they grasp the concepts that we put forward to them,” said Arinelle Lewis,  the group night and resource navigator at Valerie’s House.

Lewis said it’s important for kids to grieve in a safe, stress-free space.

“Just getting to watch them interact with the other kids and grow, the kids that start off kind of timid because it’s their first time. And then come for a few months and watching them grow and get more comfortable,” said Lewis.

Calderon said she misses her mom more and more each day, but she knows how to handle that. “I wish she was here. But I can say now that I turned out to be fine. I turned out to be OK.”

Now Calderon’s job is to show kids that they can survive the pain of loss just like she did.

Valerie’s House served as a shelter with food and necessary supplies for families impacted by Hurricane Ian.

They said grief is all around us.

Valerie’s House gives Children a voice during National Children’s Grief Awareness Month in November

Valerie’s House, a nonprofit organization helping children grieve the loss of a loved one, is participating in National Children’s Grief Awareness Month in November with numerous activities to give grieving children a voice.

“The loss and destruction the Southwest Florida community has experienced from Hurricane Ian now further compounds the emotions grieving children are experiencing. Children are grieving so much – their schools, their homes, their entire neighborhoods, another loved one in their life may also have died,” said Valerie’s House Founder and CEO Angela Melvin. “We must stand with them and support them now more than ever.”

Two major events are planned during the month:

  • Valerie’s House in Fort Myers will host an open house so the public including families, school professionals, and other community members can tour the house and learn more about its grief support services Thursday, Nov. 17, which is National Children’s Grief Awareness Day. Professionals who work with children are encouraged to wear blue and drop by Valerie’s House at 1762 Fowler St. from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. RSVP to molly@valerieshouse.org.

  • Valerie’s House in Naples will host a Live Art Event on Friday, Nov. 18, at 819 Myrtle Terrace. Visitors are invited to drop by from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. to meet local artists, enjoy small bites and a raffle as well as an opportunity to tour Valerie’s House and learn more about how art helps children heal. Tickets are free. RSVP to sarah.andrus@valerieshouse.org.

Throughout National Children’s Grief Awareness Month, Valerie’s House will share personal stories from families during videos, podcasts, interviews and other profiles posted on Facebook and on their website. They also are encouraging residents to share their own stories of loss on social media and how they have survived the trauma.

Valerie’s House counselors have been invited into Lee County schools during November to train school personnel on how to help children experiencing the trauma of losing their school or home to Hurricane Ian.

One in seven children in Florida is predicted to lose a parent or sibling before the age of 25, according to the 2021 Childhood Bereavement Estimation Model.

Valerie’s House provides a safe, comfortable place for children and their families to heal together following the death of someone they love. Valerie’s House offers support groups and other activities at a home at 1762 Fowler St. in Fort Myers and a home in Naples at 819 Myrtle Terrace. Valerie’s House also holds group meetings in Charlotte County at First United Methodist Church in Punta Gorda at 507 W. Marion Ave. and at Holy Trinity Lutheran Church at 2565 Tamiami Trail in Port Charlotte. Support services are also offered in Pensacola. Valerie’s House is a United Way partner agency and is fully supported by community donations. More information can be found at www.valerieshouse.org.

Valerie’s House helps SWFL grieve after Ian

FORT MYERS

Whether you’ve lost a loved one or not, Hurricane Ian has affected you.

Seeling all the damage can only add to the mental strain.

That’s where Valerie’s House comes in to help you out.

The number of people visiting for grief support is higher than ever.

Families like the Moranvilles say they are thankful for everything the nonprofit is doing.

“We had pretty bad flooding. Everything in the house was destroyed, so, it was pretty devastating,” Diane Moranville said.

Moranville lost her husband to cancer just weeks before the storm.

Then Ian hit, and they lost everything.

“Having more time to sit and talk and reminisce and, you know, losing the home and all of this, we just, our communication is just tremendous. And it’s as bad as it seems. It’s a blessing because we’re getting so much closer. And we’ve always been close, always. It’s opening up, and it’s helping him open up,” she said.

Her son Evan is the reason she decided to call the nonprofit.

“Valerie’s House has helped me and the other moms that are dealing with this same exact thing, some in different ways,” Moranville said. “It really helps you see that, that you’re not alone. And it’s OK to come out and get some help because you need it.”

Evan learned how to rip out drywall after the storm damaged their home.

“I feel more useful. Like, I don’t know, I feel like because I’ve been doing it becausee like before, my dad would just kind of do stuff and I’d be there. But it’s like now actually doing I feel like I’m actually like, a part of something,” Evan said.

Evan said surrounding himself with others going through the same thing helps him feel heard.

“It’s pretty comforting, you know, because none of my friends obviously have that same thing. So, to talk to other people about it who’ve gone through the same thing, especially people who are my age, has been nice,” Evan said.

Valerie’s House, a 100-year-old home in Fort Myers, made it through the storm with barely a scratch.

Since the storm, Valerie’s House has been using it as a refuge for families.

As the death toll rises, the nonprofit said they are getting prepared for the number of children and families who will be grieving the death of a family member due to Ian.

“I think that’s pretty much the main goal, you know, to feel like you’re not the only one. Because if you’re, if you’re just sitting in your house all day, and you’re not talking to other people about it, you’re gonna, you’re gonna feel alone. Especially with stressful times stuff, you’re not gonna, you’re not gonna feel like there’s other people who are going through the same thing who can’t help,” Evan said.

Valerie’s House ready to help families in need after Ian

Writer: Matthew Seaver

WINK News


Valerie’s House weathered Hurricane Ian and came out the other side with very little damage.

The organization is now allowing the community to use the 110-year-old house and surrounding facilities as a refuge for families. They are providing air conditioning and hot meals to families who need them.

Valerie’s House says it understands that many families are in desperate need after losing their homes and belongings.

The organization says it is also preparing to help those children and families that are grieving lost loved ones as a result of the storm.

 
 
 
 

Community event to help Charlotte County children who attend Valerie’s House

CHARLOTTE COUNTY

A community event to help raise money for Charlotte County children who attend Valerie’s House.

Valerie’s House services 200 kids and caregivers and now they want to extend.

Strutting down the runway, people showed off their passion for fashion at the Charlotte Harbor event and conference center on Saturday.

Strutting down the runway to raise money for Valerie’s House. (CREDIT: WINK News)

The event full of smiles and mini makeovers was all in favor of a good cause for Valerie’s House.

Christine Carey, Charlotte County Director of Valerie’s House said, “This is our first annual celebrating charlotte fundraising event for Valerie’s House. It’s very important to us.”

The non-profit expanded into Charlotte County back in 2019. It focuses on helping children and families work through the loss of a loved one.

Although they started small they now serve over 200 kids and their caregivers. They depend on community support events to continue day-to-day operations.

“It is such a blessing to have so much support here in charlotte county and our surrounding counties. All of the families that we service, all of the fundraisings that we receive goes right back to our families,” Carey said.

Alicia Cruz is one of the many kids who benefit from Valerie’s House services. She lost her mother to a heart attack a little over a year ago.

Cruz said if it weren’t for Valerie’s House, she’d still be grieving over the sudden loss.

“It was very shocking. I felt like it wasn’t real. I felt like it was fake. Valerie’s House was making it simple,” Cruz said.

Since then Cruz has met other kids going through loss just like her through group sessions.

“When you hear other people talk about, you know, if they had a really close relationship with their mom or their father, or whoever it’s like, you know, it gets a little hurtful to think about it. So, we try to help them out together, so that we both aren’t going through such a rough time,” Cruz said.

While she still misses her mother greatly she’s happy to see people support the non-profit that’s helped change her life for the better.

If you didn’t get a chance to make it out to the event you can donate by clicking the link, https://valerieshouse.org/inkind.

Valerie’s House builds a new home to help grieving families

REPORTER:MICHELLE ALVAREZ

FORT MYERS

Valerie’s House is building a new home to provide a safe and local community for children and families grieving the death of a loved one.

Construction of the new Valerie’s House will soon be underway.

The new 7,000-square-foot facility will provide the organization with a larger location on Shoemaker Lane in Fort Myers.

Calli Lowe, the Program Coordinator at Valerie’s House said, “we’re very excited for the new home.”

Lowe said while the work continues on the new home, grief support groups continue at their three locations and they’re packed.

“Families are just experiencing a different type of grief right now,” Lowe said.

Valerie’s House has more than 800 kids and parents dealing with the loss of someone to COVID-19.

“We’ve even seen kids are feeling so much more down and depressed, they didn’t have a chance to say goodbye to their loved one because they’re in the hospital,” Lowe said.

That’s why the new forever home is so needed.

Sterling Lund is a Project Manager for Valerie’s House.

“As you can see behind us, it is cleared and the land is already but we’re just waiting for a couple of things,” Lund said.

Lund said the goal is to expand services because there will always be kids who need a lift and a helping hand.

“It’s an internal light bulb moment for them when they realize that they aren’t alone and that their friends, their kids their age are also going through something like that. It’s just really special,” Lowe said.

Valerie’s House said they do not turn anyone away. When they do run out of room, group sessions are held inside and outside of the home, and that’s why they’re excited for the new forever home.

Construction is set to begin on August 1 and will take a year to complete.

When the World Stops, Valerie’s House is There

èBella Magazine

by Sarah Andrus

Behind every great organization is a leader, and behind every leader, there is often a story.

On a hot, muggy July afternoon in 1987, Angela, 11, a couple of months from entering middle school, and Lisa, 9, a rising third grader, sat waiting with their camp counselor on the curb of the parking lot for their mom to pick them up.

Their mom worked as a nurse, and it wasn’t unusual for her to be a little late coming from the hospital to pick them up. Their grandma pulled up to get them.

Sweaty and tired from a full day at camp, the sisters buckled in and rode home in silence. Shortly after arriving home, their uncle pulled into the driveway with their dad in the passenger seat, and Angela noticed his eyes were red and puffy. She knew something was off. They went inside the house, and the girls heard the worst words two little girls can hear, “Your mother is dead.”

Time stood still. Family, as they knew it, was shattered. A huge piece of their hearts and their world left that day.

The months following were a blur, but Angela Melvin excelled in school and cheerleading and led an active social life. From the outside, she didn’t show signs of grieving. And it wasn’t until college when she would overhear her roommate talking to her mother every night, that the mountain of grief she had been holding in began to surface.

Still, she pressed on, graduated from college, and pursued a successful career in journalism … until one day, the seed was planted inside her aching heart to return to where it all began, in Fort Myers, and create a place for children like her and her sister. She named that place Valerie’s House in honor of her late mother.

Valerie’s House took root in January 2016, sprouted, and has grown tremendously in six years, with three locations in Southwest Florida that have helped thousands of children and adults over the years.

Stori, 12, walked through the doors of Valerie’s House in April 2016, just a few months after its opening. Her head was down, and her shoulders slumped. Angela immediately recognized and felt her pain.

Stori and Angela

Stori’s mom, her best friend, had died suddenly from pneumonia. She knew Stori’s world had stopped and shattered. Angela and Stori immediately connected.

​Despite her initial reluctance to be in a grief support group, Stori came often and gained tools for understanding and expressing her feelings. Today, six years later, Stori helps lead grief support groups at Valerie’s House and lends the same understanding and support that she’s received from Angela over the years.

Families are forever changed after loss. Angela, Stori, and the hundreds of children that come through the doors of Valerie’s House know the aching pain of having a piece of their heart missing. They also come to discover the deep love and support of walking the road of grief and mourning together.

Stori names Angela as one of the most prominent female role models in her life and Valerie’s House an integral part of her success. Stori has graduated from high school and is currently studying psychology at Boston University with her eyes on a Ph.D. and a career as a therapist.

“No matter how bad things can get or how terrible a situation you can wind up in, there will always be a chance to get out of it and change for the better,” Stori said. “When my mom died, my entire world stopped. But Valerie’s House became my second family, and I know they will always be there for me and anyone else who needs them.”

Families come in all shapes and sizes, and Valerie’s House is a family with arms wide open for children and families whose worlds have stopped.

How to talk to your child about school shootings

Considering the many recent tragedies in our world, Valerie’s House Founder and CEO Angela Melvin asked Amy Strom to take the lead to work with community leaders on a crisis action plan should a crisis occur in our community.

In response to the Texas shooting, Amy spoke with Wink News on how to talk to your kids after a tragedy. This interview made a big impact on the community.

FORT MYERS

The Uvalde school shooting that killed 19 students and two adults is difficult to understand for grown-ups.

But it’s even harder for children to grasp.

A child psychologist at Lee Health said it’s better to speak to children about what’s happening before they begin to learn about it on their own.

The question is not if you should have the conversation, it’s how.

Deyanir Helt, a Lee County mom, said she hesitated before taking her fourth-grader to school on Wednesday in the wake of the mass shooting.

“I usually drop her off and drive through. Today I got out of the car and I just walked with her and the other parents we were looking at each other like you never know if this is the last day you were going to see your child,” Helt said.

Helt worries as she watches the images on the news. Her little girl sees them too.

“She did ask a bunch of questions and now she is like ‘Mommy why is this happening so often? Why?’ So what should I say,” Helt said.

Dr. Fracnes Sanchez-Duverge, a pediatric psychologist at Golisano Children’s Hospital, said parents should check in with themselves first and make sure they are OK emotionally before talking to their children.

And when they are ready, they should start by asking open-ended questions and for younger kids, stay away from any graphic information.

“What do you know about what happened? What have you heard? How does it make you feel? As opposed to asking, are you afraid,” Sanchez-Duverge said.

But if your child is afraid, it’s important to reassure them they are safe and focus on solutions they can control.

“A child has no control over whether there’s police presence in the school, or whether, you know, there’s lockdown drills more frequently or not. Those are administrative questions that kids can’t do anything about and it makes them feel vulnerable and helpless,” Sanchez-Duverge said.

Sanchez-Duverge said talking to kids about solutions you can control means emphasizing they should say something when they see something.

Children should also be able to identify an adult they can go to with safety concerns.

It’s also important to monitor how much news a child can see and avoid having adult conversations near children.

Amy Strom, director of partnerships and clinical support, at Valerie’s House, said the normal response is fear.

“I think a lot of children and parents right now are afraid and I think it is OK to say that. It is OK that you are afraid but there are a lot of great people out there that are here to help us and that me, as your parent, or the police and our schools are doing what they can to make sure that you are safe,” Strom said.

With younger kids, keep the conversation short, but with older kids you can go a little deeper.

“If they are on the internet and looking at different articles we want to make sure that the facts are what they are understanding of what happens and then we can help them make sense of what happened,” Strom said.

And making sense of a senseless act can be hard, so Strom said don’t feel pressured to have all of the answers.

“It’s OK to acknowledge that we don’t know the answer. Sometimes people will ask the question why do people do this and it’s OK for us to say I don’t know. It’s never OK for anyone to hurt anyone so I think it’s OK that we can join in with them and understand that and let them know that their feelings are valid,” Strom said.

Speaking with a young mother of two named Niesha, she said seeing events like this makes her seriously consider home-schooling her children.

“I don’t even know. When they start school if I would send them to public school. I would probably like to home-school them better. That way I know they’re safe,” said Niesha.

Her kids are young, so, for now, she shields them from horrifying stories like what happened in Texas.

“What I would tell them is, ‘make sure you’re being safe and make sure you’re not hanging around people that think it’s OK and it’s cool. Don’t try to fit in,’ said Niesha.”

It’s a conversation Steve and Rita Schenkel, who have 13 grandchildren, are already thinking about.

“We have strong faith we’ve tried to instill in our own children and to try to help them understand there are so many good people out there, but there is evil in this world,” said Steve Schenkel.

Strom says it’s important to make children feel comfortable sharing and to validate their feelings and concerns.

“We want to provide a sense of security for our families, even in a time of uncertainty. And so, for them, that looks like going to school or having meals at a regular time and spending time together as a family,” said Strom.

Strom said there are some signs to look for that can show if your child is struggling: changes in their sleep pattern, changes in appetite, nightmares, and other forms of regression.

Valerie's House breaks ground on new Forever Home in Lee County

We are honored to see more than a dozen publications highlighting the Forever Home Groundbreaking Event. Here are just some of the stories featuring Valerie’s House. If you would like to check out the articles, please see the links below and share them too!

Wink News


Gulfshore Business

Angela Melvin paused. She had written the speech just a couple of hours earlier about how she shared in the grief of so many children, having experienced it herself.

Valerie Melvin, the namesake of Valerie’s House, a Southwest Florida nonprofit created as a haven and support group for children grieving the death of a parent, died in a car crash when Angela was 10.

“I’m a humble, grieving child who is all grown up,” said Angela Melvin, who later collected herself Friday morning and carried on with delivering her words to about 60 of her friends, supporters and children who are members of the program.

About a year from now, Valerie’s House will move into a new forever home with 7,000 square feet of space. It is being built at 3551 Shoemaker Lane, off Veronica Shoemaker Boulevard, adjacent to a fire station and an apartment complex in Fort Myers. No one will live in the home, but dozens of children will be able to congregate there. It will have a full kitchen and dining room, a punching bag room, art rooms, a memory garden and fountain, basketball court and a covered gazebo.


FOX-4

FORT MYERS, Fla.  — One in seven children in Florida is predicted to lose a parent or sibling by the age of 25, according to the 2022 Childhood Bereavement Estimation Model.

That's why Valerie’s House has made it their mission to help children and families going through the grieving process.

On Friday Valerie’s House broke ground on their new forever home.

They say this future home means no child will ever have to grieve alone.

Angela Melvin, the founder and CEO of Valerie’s House says there’s been a lot of loved ones lost in this community.

She says just this week a 12-year-old was killed after being hit by a car in the Walmart parking lot in Cape Coral.


WGCU – NPR - PBS

Valerie’s House has broken ground on the facility that will serve as its new forever home. The land for the facility was donated by the city of Fort Myers, and more than $2 million has been raised for the cost of construction. Sponsors include local businesses, foundations and prominent community members.

CEO Angela Melvin founded Valerie’s House with the goal of helping children and families grieve the loss of a loved one. The nonprofit is named for Melvin's mother Valerie Melvin, who died in a car accident when Angela was ten years old.

“I will always be a Valerie's house child, and that really is the passion behind a project like this,” she said. “Getting this house built for our community, so no child will ever have to grieve alone.”

Valerie’s House offers a variety of programs, including peer support groups, individual counseling, mentoring programs and much more. The nonprofit has also expanded its operations into Charlotte and Collier Counties, as well as in Pensacola.

Valerie's House breaking ground on $3 million 'forever home' for grieving SWFL families

By: Michael Braun

Fort Myers News-Press

Valerie's House is about to get bigger.

The Southwest Florida nonprofit which is dedicated to providing grief counseling for children and their families will break ground Friday on a new 7,000-square-foot facility in Fort Myers.

The "forever home" will be built on land donated by the city of Fort Myers under a $1-a-year-for-99-years land lease at 3551 Shoemaker Lane off Veronica S. Shoemaker Boulevard.

The group has raised $2.5 million of the $3 million needed for its new home. Several room sponsorship opportunities remain available.

“This home will always be a place for grieving families to call their own,” said Angela Melvin, founder and CEO. “Regardless of what happens in the future, having this home means no child will ever have to grieve alone in our community."

Valerie's House has helped more than 2,000 children and their families since its founding in 2016. Melvin named it after her mother who was killed in a car accident in 1987.

An estimated one in seven children in Florida is predicted to lose a parent or sibling before the age of 25, according to the 2022 Childhood Bereavement Estimation Model.

Valerie’s House currently offers peer support groups and other activities at locations in Fort Myers, Naples, Punta Gorda, Port Charlotte, and Pensacola. Valerie's House is a United Way partner agency and is fully supported by community donations.

The new home is designed as an Old-Florida-style structure, with special rooms like a volcano room which allows children to work out any anger or other emotions they have because of their loss. 

The new facility will allow Valerie’s House to help more children and provide wrap-around services, such as individual grief counseling to help support families in need.

Lennar Homes is project manager for construction which is expected to be completed by mid-2023. 

For more information about Valerie’s House or to make a donation to the Forever Home Campaign, visit valerieshouseswfl.org/capital-campaign, call 239-478-6734, or write angela@valerieshouse.org


Link to article: https://www.naplesnews.com/story/news/local/2022/06/21/valeries-house-forever-home-groundbreaking-fort-myers-southwest-florida-grieving-families/7682536001/

About Valerie’s House

Valerie’s House opened in January 2016 and has served more than 2,000 children and their families from Lee, Collier, Charlotte, and Hendry counties. The organization provides a safe, comfortable place for children to share, grieve and heal together following the death of a close family member. Valerie’s House has three locations: 1762 Fowler St. in downtown Fort Myers, 819 Myrtle Terrace in Naples and group therapy meetings at several churches in Charlotte County. For more information, visit valerieshouse.org

Valerie’s House sees uptick in grandparents raising grandchildren

“Brian was funny, he made you laugh every time he would dance, he would crack jokes and he struggled with addiction,” said Jeanne Petronio, Brian’s mother. 

Brian Petronio was in his 30’s, a son, and a father to his 13-year-old son Jason.

His mother said “we actually thought he was doing okay. He had his own apartment and he was saving money…we were trying to make it so that Jason could live with him safely.”

At the time – Jeanne had custody of Jason until Brian was able to get his life together, but time wasn’t on their side.

“They came home from a baseball game and Jason went to a friend’s house and brian overdosed,” she said. “When the police came to my house after Brian died…they told me I had to go home and tell Jason that his dad died which was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to tell him.”

Brian’s death brought them to Valerie’s House in Fort Myers, a place where children learn loss doesn’t have to limit their dreams.

“Jason and I came two weeks after brian died, this place saved us,” said Jeanne. 

While the isolation that comes with a loss can be crippling, Jeanne and Jason found community in their support group.

“When we first got here, I will say that I felt comfortable. Jason was still really angry, but now we’re here every other Thursday night like it’s on the calendar,” said Jeanne. 

Through individual support groups at Valerie’s House, Jeanne discovered a whole group of grandparents raising grandchildren.

“I’ve been helping with the grandparent night since we started and it’s always been a large group,” said Monika Urbanska, a counselor at Valerie’s House. She says the group of grandparents is growing.

“The biggest theme that comes from the grandparents raising their grandkids is this identity crisis that they feel,” she said.

In the group, grandparents can share their unique experiences of raising a child when they didn’t expect to.

Urbanksa said, “they’ve gone through this road they say and they struggle feeling like ‘man I don’t feel like that grandparent that would typically have that limited time and fun times spoiling the grandkids.'”

However, through connections families find at Valerie’s House, people like Jeanne are learning to cope with her loss. 

“Even though I look like everything’s fine and hunky-dory there are days that I am not good, there are days that Jason is not good and it’s okay if we’re not okay,” said Jeanne.

Most of all, through Valerie’s House they now know they’re not alone.

A Path for Hope: Fort Myers concert promotes suicide awareness with 15 bands

News-Press

Charles Runnells

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Fritz Caraher didn’t know what to say when his friend’s son died of suicide last May.

Words failed him.

So instead of words, Caraher and other friends decided to take action. The result: A suicide-awareness concert Sunday featuring both national and local musical acts.

“It really started with I didn’t have any words,” says Caraher, a Fort Myers chef, musician and occasional concert promoter. “What do you say to a good friend who just lost their child?

“And having done fundraisers in the past, I didn’t know what to say but I did know what I could do. And that’s to try to help other families and people.”

Fifteen bands will perform at the Path For Hope concert at Fort Myers’ Pickle-N-Pub, including headliners Rob Snyder (a Nashville songwriter and a longtime friend of Caraher’s) and Dave Hause (a Philadelphia singer-songwriter who Caraher calls “a punk rock legend").

A portion of the concert's proceeds will go to Valerie's House, a Fort Myers nonprofit that provides free counseling and other services for children grieving the death of a loved one. The children's bereavement center started a separate group last year to help families left behind after suicide.

Suicide rates have increased by 35 percent since 1999, according to the CDC and the National Institute on Mental Health. So it’s important to talk about it, says Angela Melvin, CEO and founder of Valerie’s House.

“Suicide is all around us,” Melvin says. “It happens much more often than people realize.

“I think that anytime you can say the word ‘suicide,’ it’s important. It’s the truth. It’s what happens. We need to talk about it, and it needs to be brought up.”

That’s exactly what will happen during the Path for Hope concert. People will talk about suicide prevention onstage, including Melvin and emcee Caraher. Plus there will be tents where people can find information on warning signs, where to get help and more.

Then, of course, there's the music. The lineup includes:

  • Rob Snyder, a Nashville songwriter whose country songs include Luke Combs’ “She Got The Best Of Me” and “Six Feet Apart."

  • Dave Hause, a Philadelphia-based folk/rock singer-songwriter who performs both solo and with his band The Mermaid. He's played in many Philadelphia punk and hardcore bands, including The Loved Ones and The Falcon.

  • Lower Case Blues, a popular Delaware blues band.

  • Ocean Roads, a Fort Myers band whose original lineup is reuniting for the show. It's the first time they’ve played in about a decade.

  • Last Man Standing, a local rock band that's also reuniting for the show.

  • Robby Hutto & The Absent Minded, an acoustic-rock band from Alabama.

  • Students from Fort Myers’ School of Rock.

  • And The Camaros, a rock trio from Iona.

Connecticut resident Jimmy Lariviere will be onstage, too, reuniting with Last Man Standing and Ocean Roads — two bands he hasn’t performed with since leaving Southwest Florida about a decade ago. He’s looking forward to that reunion, he says, but admits it’ll be a bittersweet moment.

It was the death of Lariviere’s 27-year-old son, Chance, that inspired Caraher to start the concert in the first place. And the pain is still fresh, Lariviere admits.

He hopes the concert can help spare other people that pain. If the show and the information it's spreading can save one life, he says, he’ll consider it a success.

Maybe someone in the audience will recognize the warning signs in someone they love, for example. Or they'll end up seeking counseling services, themselves.

“There are signs,” Lariviere says. “There are things that they can look for. They should take things seriously. They should address things that are said.”

About 45,980 people died of suicide in 2020, according to the CDC. That’s almost 50,000 people in one year, Lariviere says.

He finds that number staggering.

“It’s 130 people a day," he says. "That’s a city of 50,000 people in a year. Imagine going to a city with 50,000 people, and you go back the next year and it’s empty.”

For warning signs and tips on how to help someone thinking about suicide, see below.

If you or someone you know is in a crisis, call the 24-hour National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255). Or call 911 immediately.

Connect with this reporter: Charles Runnells is an arts and entertainment reporter for The News-Press and the Naples Daily News. Email him at crunnells@gannett.com or connect on Facebook (facebook.com/charles.runnells.7), Twitter (@charlesrunnells) and Instagram (@crunnells1).

If you go

What: Path For Hope concert

When: Noon to 10 p.m. Sunday, Feb. 20

Where: Pickle-N-Pub, 15455 Old McGregor Blvd., Fort Myers

Admission: Free with a $20 suggested donation

Info: valerieshouse.org/events

To donate: bit.ly/3oDB3wk

Suicide warning signs:

  • Talking about wanting to die or kill themselves

  • Looking for a way to kill themselves, like searching online or buying a gun

  • Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live

  • Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain

  • Talking about being a burden to others

  • Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs

  • Acting anxious or agitated; behaving recklessly

  • Sleeping too little or too much

  • Withdrawing or isolating themselves

  • Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge

  • Extreme mood swings

SOURCE: Suicide Prevention Lifeline (suicidepreventionlifeline.org)

What you can do to prevent suicide

Here are some things you can do if you're concerned about a friend or loved one:

  • Ask if they're thinking about suicide. While people may be hesitant to ask, research shows this is helpful.

  • Keep them safe. Reduce access to lethal means for those at risk.

  • Be there with them. Listen to what they need.

  • Help them connect with ongoing support.

  • Stay connected. Follow up to see how they’re doing

If you need help for yourself or someone else, contact the Suicide Prevention Lifeline call 1-800-273-8255 or chat online at suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

SOURCE: CDC and American Psychiatric Association

Link: https://www.news-press.com/story/entertainment/2022/02/14/fort-myers-suicide-prevention-concert-raising-money-valeries-house-path-for-hope-fundraiser/9317475002/

Naples Winter Wine Festival donors get to meet the kids they’re helping

WINK News

Reporter: Sydney Persing
Writer: Drew Hill

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Naples Winter Wine Festival donors are getting the chance to meet the children their money directly impacts. The event benefits charities within the Naples Children and Education Foundation. And 100% of those donations stay within Collier County.

There are adorable children under the big white tent amongst the sea of adults. Each of them benefits from the charity that the Naples Winter Wine Festival supports.

Meet Josh Wolfson is one of the children that says the charity has helped him. But he’s also an athlete. ” I play tennis, paddleboarding, and basketball,” said Wolfson. With a tennis racket in hand and a gold medal around his neck, John speaks enthusiastically about all that Special Olympics has done for him.

“I don’t really know what I would be using a lot of my time for. I just really do enjoy and really do like Special Olympics, and I’m really happy to be here today,” he said.

“The other kids there are really nice. And I made a lot of nice friends doing Special Olympics,” said Josh.

This is what “Meet The Kids” Day is all about. All of the festival’s donors and patrons get the opportunity to meet people like Josh, Makenzie, and Landon. These donors see how these tiny faces benefit directly from the money the Naples Winter Wine Festival and Auction brings in.

Landon likes Batman…a lot. “He has grappling hooks and he can fly!” he said. But he’s not the real hero in Landon’s life. Sydney Esquibel works with Better Together. ”His mom is his hero,” Esquibel said.

Landon and his mother are part of Better Together, a nonprofit that works to keep children and parents together and children out of foster care. This is another charity that the Naples Winter Wine Festival supports.

During “Meet the Kids” Day, Landon has been going around saying hi to every. “Landon’s been so excited. He’s been, you know, saying hi to everyone handing out our flyers. And I think to be able to actually see the children in all of these organizations that they’re able to help it just really makes a difference,” said Esquibel.

Laina Kennedy is one of the Naples Winter Wine Festival’s many patrons. “One of the first people I met walking in was a child. And he was telling me about how his dream is to be a doctor and how everything this organization is doing to support that. And it was just so heartwarming to hear,” said Kennedy.

Mackenzie Srancois told everyone about Valerie’s House and how it has helped her. Valerie’s House provides grief support for children and adolescents. “My mom died two years ago,” Mackenzie said. “I’m able to express how I felt. Because I feel like I can’t really talk to my friends about it because you know like they haven’t like gone through something I have.”

“And so it’s nice to kind of see that you’re the only one that those kids who understand and kids relate to you,” said Mackenzie.

Paul Hill is the chairman of the board of directors for the festival. “They can physically see the children and the impact that they’re having on the children. That’s the endgame. I believe that in my heart,” Hill said. 

And, in the hearts of these children, they can feel and see so many people cheering them on.

The charities help pay for meals, dental care, mental health care, and education for these children.

Link: https://www.winknews.com/2022/01/28/naples-winter-wine-festival-donors-get-to-the-meet-kids-theyre-helping/