Valerie’s House helps grieving wife, mother, journey on
/Cape Coral widowed mom of four works through heartbreaking tragedy to finish law degree for self and family
By DEVON CRUMPACKER | Apr 21, 2023
“I had to keep moving. Or else I just would have laid there. I had to keep moving forward,” said Rochelle Pitts from the front steps of a large, old Florida home in downtown Fort Myers, known as Valerie’s House. Rochelle was there to be sworn in as an attorney, having just passed the Florida bar. But she was thinking back on what it took, in the face of immense tragedy, for the widowed mother of four to get to that point.
Just before Christmas, in December, 2020, Rochelle’s husband, Jesse Pitts, died after a car crash on his way home from work. He was 32 years old.
Rochelle was 30.
The couple had three children together–two girls and a boy–and Rochelle was pregnant with their fourth, a girl. Rochelle was also days away from beginning her final semester of law school at Ave Maria School of Law.
Her husband’s healthy organs helped save the lives of four others on Christmas day that year, as he was able to donate his heart, liver and kidneys.
But, for Rochelle, a bleak new reality was beginning to set in.
And processing it all was nearly impossible.
She had waited by his side for three days as he lie in a hospital bed on a ventilator, waiting for the organ removal procedure. She already knew there was nothing else the doctors could do for him at that point. Still, she stayed with him those three days. She laid next to him. She held him. She placed his hand on her belly to feel their unborn baby. And then, eventually, it was over. And it was just Rochelle and her kids.
She couldn’t sleep. Guilt wracked her conscious. Her life didn’t seem real. It was a horrible dream. Everything was coming at her all at once, and she needed a way out, a plan. So, in a moment of despair, at 6 in the morning, crying, she called her old boss, Allan Parvey. It was Parvey who got Rochelle in touch with Valerie’s House.
Founded in 2016 by Angela Melvin, Valerie’s House provides open-ended peer support groups and activities for children and families in hopes of helping them heal after a significant loss in their lives. It seeks to provide a sense of community and a platform for individuals to come together, share, and mentor each other through their grief.
“It’s a place where people come to not feel alone,” said Melvin of Valerie’s House. “Grieving families can come together here, and bond, and become friends.”
Melvin was inspired to found Valerie’s House after examining her own experience with grief, having lost her mother, Valerie, to a car accident when she was just a young girl.
“In Fort Myers, we didn’t have anything like this back in 1987,” said Melvin of Valerie’s House to the crowd of friends and family gathered for Rochelle’s swearing in ceremony. “But we’re not alone anymore.”
Rochelle said she immediately took to the Valerie’s House style of coping with grief. She said there’s no placating, or patronizing at Valerie’s House. Grieving people are allowed to feel their feelings. Phrases like, you’ll feel better, or time will heal it aren’t part of curriculum.
“It was very validating,” said Rochelle. “If I feel like crying, I’m going to cry. I’ll cry right now if I want to.”
Valerie’s House also represented a small slice of normalcy for Rochelle and her family.
“I needed to find people that were similar ages, and people that actually understood grief,” said Rochelle. “It was the only place we could go and feel normal.”
Rochelle also credited law school and her legal studies in general for giving her life some structure during a time where everything seemed so chaotic.
“I needed someone to tell me, ‘Hey you need to be (in class) at 8 a.m.’ I needed it to function. I needed to be responsible for things.”
Rochelle went on to finish law school and pass the Florida bar exam, studying any moment she could. She would listen to lectures in her car on her way home from work. She would listen to more study material while she made dinner for her kids. She would stay up until almost midnight. She would even teach her kids the law as a type of study exercise on days and nights she wasn’t able to find a babysitter.
“I would sit there and explain the law to them,” Rochelle said. “Because, if I couldn’t explain the law to them, then I wasn’t going to understand the law myself.”
But, Rochelle has banked the hill now, as she was sworn in as an attorney on Friday evening at Valerie’s House by Lee County Circuit Judge Robert Branning. She will go to work at Aloia, Roland, Lubell & Morgan, PLLC, as an associate attorney specializing in personal injury law.
“Not one of us can profess to know what you have been through,” said the firm’s co-founder and senior partner, Ty Roland, who was at the ceremony. “But it certainly feels like it makes sense to be in a place whose mission is to … help people who have suffered unimaginable loss.”
Before the ceremony came to a close, Rochelle confirmed her intent to keep coming to Valerie’s House. She has no illusions about ever fully getting over the tragedy that befell her family. But she knows Valerie’s House can help with that, even if it’s an ongoing battle. That’s why she wants to be there to help others when the situation arises.
“Even if we grow in our journey, we want to keep coming back to help the next family that comes through those doors,” said Rochelle.