Traditions, big or small, are an important part of our lives. Whether it’s a tradition of having Sunday pancakes, an annual trip, or a holiday celebration, these meaningful rituals connect us through the actions we take together. As a result, we grow to love and rely on them as a comforting constant in our lives.

When we lose a loved one, it feels like we have lost a part of what makes these practices so special. It is difficult to face these times with the same excitement we once had. Personal traditions are hard to let go of, you can press pause if it’s too much, but it doesn’t feel natural to just stop them altogether.

When it comes to the holidays or even going back to school, unfortunately, there is no way to avoid them. The world continues to move fast and constantly reminds us of these traditions. It can start to feel more like a burden than celebratory.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Whichever way you choose to approach these tough moments is ok. Grief is always changing, and you may feel one way one day and another the next. Remember to honor your feelings and try not to put pressure on yourself. Only you will know how you want to handle things and what helps you. Here are a few ideas you can try that have helped other people.

Rather than trying to do things as they were always done, consider creating new traditions that honor your person. These new practices can allow them to continue to play a role in future celebrations.
Make a memorial item to incorporate into your tradition. This could include a memory ornament, photo collage tablecloth, or memory candle. People can also write their favorite memories on your item to use for the future.
Cook one of their favorite meals to bring to your celebration. This might be a dessert, a special cookie, or a dinner dish. You could also host a dinner for your friends and family who were also close to the person who died. Food is a great way to connect with others.
Create a gratitude box of all the things that remind you of them. You can do this together with your friends and family, or you can leave out a box with paper and pens at your gathering. When we focus on what we are grateful for, it can help shift our perspective and remind us of all the positive memories we have.
Go somewhere that makes you feel close to them. This might be the loved one’s grave or somewhere else. Choose a designated time to visit your place and incorporate this into your traditions.
Donate in honor of your loved one. It doesn’t have to be monetary; you can also donate your time. Giving to a charity in their name makes an important difference to the community and honors your person in a beautiful way.

Traditions don’t have to be perfect or grand. Even small acts, like lighting a candle, can help us feel a little closer to our loved ones. Be kind to yourself in these tough times, and know that Valerie’s House is here for you if you need support.