Virtual Tour & Sand Tray Therapy Demo - Valerie’s House Fort Myers Spring Open House

Get an inside look at Valerie’s House in Fort Myers with this virtual tour and walk-through from our open house on April 10, 2021. Valerie’s House Teen Ambassador, Austin, gives a tour of our Fort Myers location, and Director of Care and Compassion, Heather Payne, LMHC, RPT-S, CAAPT, CT, explains how Sand Tray Therapy techniques can benefit grieving children. This event was open to anyone looking to learn more about how they can help us support more grieving children and families at Valerie’s House and we look forward to hosting similar events in the future!

Valerie’s House providing support in toughest times

Fort Myers Beach Observer and Beach Bulletin

By Nathan Mayberg - Editor | Apr 18, 2021

Valerie's House in Fort Myers. Photo by Nathan Mayberg

Entering Valerie’s House on Fowler St. in Fort Myers is a solemn experience.

It is also meant to be an uplifting one where children can come to grips with the loss of a family member and connect with others who have similar experiences.

The idea for the home was born out of the experience of founder Angela Melvin’s loss of her mother Valerie at the age of 10 due to a car accident. A portrait of Valerie with her daughters Angela and Lisa are the first thing you see when entering the home.

The home welcomes the families of those who lost a loved one and are looking for support to help children in the grieving process and deal with the loss of a family member. The program begun by Melvin, a former reporter and congressional communications director, is in its fifth year.

This past year, there were approximately 1,000 people who walked through the doors of Valerie’s House, including 387 children and some Fort Myers Beach families.

Valerie's House in Fort Myers features photos on the wall of those who died and left behind family members who have utilized support services through the center. Photo by Nathan Mayberg

One of the walls in the home is adorned with the photos of those who passed away and left behind families who utilized Valerie’s House to grieve.

At Valerie’s House, staff members recognize that everybody deals with loss differently. The therapeutic nature of the program is as much about coming to grips with a future that will be permanently without a mother, father or sibling as it is finding others to connect with who have similar experiences. Adults act as guides and mentors to facilitate discussions and activities.

Alexa Nargi, communications coordinator and executive assistant for Valerie’s House, said the home’s teddy bear library is a testament to the community’s contributions with dozens of stuffed animals, along with blankets donated for children to keep.

Nargi said the gift a stuffed animal is one of the first ways children are introduced to Valerie’s House. “It can help them smile a little bit – maybe take some of that stress away,” she said.

“Sometimes there is a sense of relief, sometimes there is guilt, something they meant to say that they didn’t get to,” Nargi said.

Jaimee Thompson lost her husband Craig Thompson unexpectedly two years ago, leaving her children Jude and Eiselee fatherless at the age of four. / Photo by Nathan Mayberg

There are group and individual projects which provide children an outlet to express themselves through art with a registered art therapist. There is a playroom where they can play with toys and figurines in the sand. There are books on grief and some light-hearted children’s books.

“Our groups try to explain the permanence of death and keeping memories alive.”

Melvin said she learns from the children. “There is no black and white way of dealing with grief and loss. Each child is different,” she said.

For Jaimee Thompson of Fort Myers, having Valerie’s House to go to, has helped her two young twins deal with the unexpected loss of their father Craig two years ago.

“We couldn’t ask for a better place to help us navigate a loss,” Thompson said. “They were four when their dad passed away so unfortunately they only remember what I tell them now. They don’t remember him so much.” Ms. Thompson’s parents moved in with them after Mr. Thompson died. They like to look at family photos together and share stories to preserve their memories.

Jude Thompson plays basketball outside Valerie's House in Fort Myers recently. / Photo by Nathan Mayberg

Thompson said Valerie’s House “has helped them just understand the permanence of him not being here anymore. They went to sleep and woke up with him not being there anymore,” she said.

“We have a big support system.”

The groups meet twice a month. Individuals will share their thoughts and experiences in a group setting or smaller setting. Everything discussed is kept within Valerie’s House unless there are specific thoughts spoken about inflicting harm, Nargi said.

“The kids share what works for them,” she said.

For a few months last year, Melvin didn’t know how she was going to operate the center when the COVID-19 pandemic forced her to put staff members out of work between April and August.

Joey and daughter Mia have both been helped by Valerie's House since the death of Mia's mother Ashley Sullivan. / Photo by Nathan Mayberg

The organization was able to get help through the CARES Act as a nonprofit but mostly relies on donations from the community to compensate its 12 members as there is no cost to partake.

This past weekend, Melvin held an open house for the first time since the pandemic.

Melvin said one in eight children will lose a family member before they turn 25.

Fran Darpino, of Philadelphia and Bonita Springs, has led her community in contributing to Valerie’s House after her granddaughter benefited from a similar grieving center and support group in Philadelphia. “It made all the difference for her,” Darpino said.

“A lot of the volunteers have gone through a loss themselves as a young person, Nargi said.

“A lot of people who had a loss when they were young find us,” Melvin said. “It’s very difficult to talk about it.” Staff at Valerie’s House undergo training twice a year and must undergo background checks.

Melvin is mentoring Mia, a 13-year-old from Cape Coral whose mother was killed by a drunk driver on the State Route 31 drawbridge when she was 10 – the same age that Melvin lost her mom.

Mia said she likes playing with crafts. One group project entailed making a boat out of tinfoil with pennies to weigh it down. They had to learn to connect the boats together so they would float in the water. It was an exercise in how to support each other, Mia said.

“We all have something in common and we all need each other,”  Mia said.

“It’s been hard,” she said. “Being here, helped me.”  Her father, Joey, said he was able to pick up information from other people who have dealt with similar losses. The mother, Ashley Sullivan, was a bartender and hairstylist. The driver of the vehicle was sentenced to 15 years. “He’s got kids too,”  Joey said.

Valerie’s House Spring Open House - Valerie’s House SWFL, where No Child Will Grieve Alone.

Valerie’s House is the only organization of its kind in Southwest Florida with the sole mission of helping children grieve the loss of a loved one.

Valerie's House Welcomes Community for Open House

MEDIA ADVISORY

Valerie's House Welcomes Community for Open House

Nonprofit organization hosts events for families, volunteers, and supporters.

FORT MYERS, Fla. (March 30, 2021) – Valerie’s House, the only organization of its kind in Southwest Florida with the sole mission of helping children grieve the loss of a loved one, is hosting an open house at its historic Fort Myers home to welcome potential new families, volunteers, mentors, and community supporters interested in learning more. Valerie’s House families, staff, and board members will be onsite to give tours of the grief center, demonstrations of how grief support groups run, and share more about the programs available for children and families who have lost a loved one. Attendees are welcome to tour the home in small groups while wearing masks and maintaining safe social distancing. Tours will end outside and behind the house, where attendees can meet members of the Valerie’s House family, enjoy light refreshments, and learn more about getting involved.

What: Valerie’s House Spring Open House Event

When: Saturday, April 10 from 9 a.m. – 1 p.m.

Where: Valerie’s House Fort Myers, 1762 Fowler St., Fort Myers, FL 33901. Parking is limited. Overflow parking is available across the street at the Lee County Tax Collector's Office (2480 Thompson St, Fort Myers, FL 33901).

Photo Ops: Tours of Valerie’s House and the grief support rooms, children and families leading tours, children playing outside in Valerie’s House’s outdoor play area.

Interview Ops: Angela Melvin, Founder and CEO of Valerie's House; Amy Strom, Director of Partnerships and Clinical Support, families, board members.

Why: 1 in 8 children in Southwest Florida will lose a parent or sibling before they turn 25.  Right now, there are more than 20,000 children estimated in the region grieving, whether related to COVID-19 or other illnesses and causes of death.  Valerie's House provides ongoing peer grief support groups for children and families at no cost. Events like this help reach more families who need grief support. 

For more information, contact Valerie’s House Communications Coordinator & Executive Assistant Alexa Nargi at alexa@valerieshouse.org or 239-692-0764.

Valerie’s House was founded by Angela Melvin in 2016 and is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization that provides grief support services to children and their families at its Fort Myers, Punta Gorda, and Naples locations. As the first and only grief support program in Southwest Florida focused solely on helping children grieve, Valerie’s House provides a safe, comfortable place for children to bond, grieve, and heal together following the death of a family member. Valerie’s House is a United Way partner agency that is supported by generous donations from the community.

For more information, or to enroll in programs, volunteer, or donate, visit www.ValeriesHouse.org or email info@ValeriesHouse.org.                                                                          
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COVID-19's high toll on children in Southwest Florida: Mental health needs have increased in an already strained system

Frank Gluck | Fort Myers News-Press

Published March 17, 2021

Note: This story discusses rates of suicide, suicide attempts and self-harm. If you or someone you know need help, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 (en español: 1-888-628-9454; deaf and hard of hearing: dial 711, then 1-800-273-8255). You can also use the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741.

Southwest Florida's mental health care providers say services for children — already strained from years of low funding and the severe shortages of qualified psychiatrists and counselors — were stretched beyond capacity during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Involuntary psychiatric committals under the state’s Baker Act grew by more than a third last year at Southwest Florida's children's hospital and by as much as two-thirds in some months.

Overall in this region, new cases last fall grew so quickly that children were commonly forced to seek treatment in mental health centers known as "crisis stabilization units" elsewhere in the state, according to providers in Lee and Collier counties.

The Golisano Children's Hospital of Southwest Florida has also reported higher numbers of suicide attempts, incidents of self-harm and overdoses related to substance abuse. Statistics on actual suicide deaths have not been finalized, though state data show a slight uptick in Collier but no increase in Lee County for young people.

And waits for mental health counseling at agencies that provide such services on a sliding-scale basis have stretched from days to weeks.

"We are actually seeing record-breaking numbers of children," said Nancy Dauphinais, chief operating officer of The David Lawrence Center, the primary adult and pediatric mental health provider in Naples. "And that's even with several periods of quarantine, where we had to actually halt all new admissions and divert them elsewhere. We've been so full that there've been so many days that we've had to transfer kids, where they've had to go directly from the hospital straight out of the county because we don't have room for them."

In 2019: She's 16, suicidal. An overburdened system responds in slow motion

Florida kids are getting sent to psychiatric units under the Baker Act in record numbers

In 2016: Out of the darkness: Putting a face on suicide

Administrators with the Lee County-based SalusCare, which is the largest mental health provider in Southwest Florida, say much the same.

Its own Baker Act admissions for children increased an uncharacteristically high 30% this fall, just as children went back to school and their mental health problems became obvious, said Stacey Cook, president and CEO of SalusCare. 

"We don't usually see an immediate uptick in admissions right when we start the school year off," Cook said. "It's very different than a normal year."

Southwest Florida may reflect a national trend.

One study published in the medical journal Pediatrics found rates of suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts were notably higher in 2020 than in 2019. Though the study, based on data from one hospital system in Texas, does caution that "additional research is needed to evaluate unique risk and protective factors that may be associated with suicide risk in the context of a global pandemic.”

Also, a review of 32 billion private health insurance claims by the non-profit FAIR Health, which collects health care data and manages a large database of privately billed health care claims, found sharp increases in mental health claims among teens, as a percentage of all bill claims.

That includes a 99% increase in cases of teenage intentional self-harm in April 2020 compared to April 2019 and a 119% increase in substance abuse and overdoses in that age group, as a percentage of all bills claimed, FAIR Health found.

Other studies globally have also shown that the pandemic has had an effect.

While official Florida figures on Baker Act committals and incidents of self-harm and suicidal thoughts among children are largely not yet available for 2020, records obtained from the region's health care providers and the state's Department of Health illustrate why Southwest Florida health agencies are concerned: 

• The number of Baker Act committals from The Golisano Children's Hospital of Southwest Florida increased from 154 in 2019 to 210 in 2020 — more than a 36% increase. Golisano officials say the September-October numbers were up 66% compared to those two months in 2019.

• Outpatient mental health-related visits to the children's hospital, which has sharply increased such outpatient services in the last five years, totaled 9,488 in 2020, according to hospital records released under Florida's open records law. That's a 17% increase over the 8,132 who visited in 2019.

• Patients showing up at Golisano for medical issues related to suicidal thoughts and/or intents grew from 196 in 2019 to 239 the following year, records show. That's a 22% increase.

• The number of suicides in Collier County involving people up to the age of 24 increased from two to seven between 2019 and 2020, according to preliminary Department of Health figures. Lee County did not see as sharp an increase. Suicides among young people rose from eight to 10 — numbers lower than in recent years.

The region's mental health experts blame the increase in psychological problems on prolonged at-home schooling, much more time spent on social media, worries about sick loved ones and the economic hardships many Southwest Florida families have faced over the last 12 months.

"The kids are telling me that they see their parents worried about finances, they're worried about illness," said Jennifer Walls, an emergency department physician at Golisano. "There's no good outlet for these kids, where before they could go to school and interact in different environments."

Kole Yates, an 18-year-old high school senior has struggled during the pandemic and talks about the mental health toll it has taken on him. Andrea Melendez/The News-Press/USA Today, Florida Network

A year of isolation and anxiety

Kole Yates, 18, is a high school senior in Fort Myers who, like many students in 2020 (and even to this day), is getting his lessons via computer.

His caution is not just for his own sake. His parents are older — his father is nearly 70 and his mother is nearly 60 — and are at high risk for COVID-19 complications. And, he said, many of his fellow students at Canterbury School don't really take the pandemic seriously, even though the school itself has been doing so.

Yates, who also has a history of anxiety and depression and has been diagnosed with attention deficit disorder, also stopped going to therapy more than six months ago when his counselor came down with the virus.

He said all of this has led to his struggling to pay attention and keep his grades up. And while going to school had been a source of anxiety in the past, the last year of extra alone time has been stressful.

"It's been really difficult being holed up and, you know, in the house and not really able to communicate with others. I'm a big communication person; I love to talk to people," said Yates, who lives in Alva. "Being inside for this long had definitely made my anxiety 10 times worse. It's so weird to go out and talk to people and interact because it doesn't feel natural anymore."

Kole Yates, an 18-year-old high school senior has struggled during the pandemic and talks about the mental health toll it has taken on him. Andrea Melendez/The News-Press/USA Today, Florida Network

The last year has also changed his view of social media. "It's really showed me that it's so important to be in person with people," he said.

Angela Melvin, founder of Valerie's House, a Lee and Collier support service founded in 2014 for children and families who have experienced deaths in their families, said she has seen a noticeable increase in children struggling because of the pandemic.

And, in a worrying first, she said she's heard from "several" families who had a loved one under 13 die by suicide. 

Families in those cases are convinced that isolation, and too much time spent on social media, played a role, Melvin said. That, coupled with continuing news about the pandemic and political unrest, is taking a toll, she said.

"You have social unrest, you have the presidency, and just the meanness back and forth. And then you have the violence and you have the fear of dying — you know, are their parents going to die or their grandparents are going to die, walking around with something covering up their face 24/7," Melvin said. "Can you imagine taking that on as a 10-year-old right now?"

A shortage of services

Southwest Florida mental health agencies, hospitals and law enforcement have long lamented the shortage of mental health services in this region. But the problem isn't limited to just this area.

Florida ranks last among states in per-person funding of mental health services. The state's $36 per person in spending is ahead of only one U.S. jurisdiction, Puerto Rico, where the per capita spending is about $20. 

Low funding means less money to expand mental health facilities and pay for qualified mental health counselors, staffers and, particularly, psychiatrists — a profession already not keeping up with demand for services. Many can also find much higher wages elsewhere.

Lee County has one mental health provider for every 930 people, an improvement from recent years but well short of the state average of one for every 620 and top-performing U.S. communities with one for every 290, according to the University of Wisconsin Population Health Institute.

In Collier County, the rate is one for every 1,000 residents, according to the Population Health Institute. That's roughly the rate it's had for years.

Mental health providers who specialize in care for children are in even shorter supply, local health care experts say.

"We had a pretty significant mental health crisis prior to COVID: depression, anxiety, suicide, complex trauma, domestic violence — all that sort of thing," said Paul Simeone, vice president of mental and behavioral health for Lee Health. "COVID just took everything and amplified it. So all of the symptoms that were present have gotten much worse, across the board."

More:'It's a double-edged sword': Survey says young Americans are using social media to address mental health issues ... caused by social media

A crisis without end:Florida ranks last among states in spending for mental health

Expanding mental health care

The sharp growth of children's' mental health care needs does come as Southwest Florida continues to slowly expand services.

Though they're often at capacity, mental health crisis units in Lee and Collier have expanded in recent years by adding a handful of beds. They can now, combined, house more than 30 children.

Nearby Charlotte Behavioral Health, which also expanded five years ago, has a 30-bed unit to use for children or adults.

Five years ago, Lee Health had a single inpatient psychiatrist. Then, in 2018, Lee Health launched its "Kids' Minds Matter" initiative to expand mental health services for children and make it a major piece of its fundraising efforts.

Since then Lee Health has hired 29 new mental health providers, including five psychologists, three pediatric psychiatrists and two mental health counselors. It also offers a variety of services, including a LGBTQ+ group for teens ages 13 to 17 in Lee, Collier, Charlotte, Hendry and Glades counties. 

"One of the main factors in the increase in the number of visits is the addition of new providers which has improved access to these services for children," Lee Health spokesman Jonathon Little said.

But Simeone says that expansion in services is not keeping up with demand.

"Even though we've increased the (patient) visit rate at Golisano by 3,000% over the last couple of years, there's still a six- to eight-week wait," he said. "It's frustrating."

The pandemic has also led to a dramatic expansion of telehealth services, including in the mental health realm.

"Telehealth can be very effective if that's all we have available," said Dauphinais of The David Lawrence Center. "We have capacity for individuals to participate through that. So, help is available."

Frank Gluck is a watchdog reporter with The News-Press and the Naples Daily News. Connect with him at fgluck@news-press.com or on Twitter: @FrankGluck

If you or someone you know if struggling with suicidal ideation, or you’re an adult searching for how to talk to kids about suicide, please see our prevention and awareness resources here.

Air Force Veteran Says Anyone Can Support Grieving Families

 If there is one thing Bob Lowe believes more than anything else, it’s that anyone has the ability to help.

“I very much identify as a strong supporter of Valerie’s House, not a donor,” said Bob. “I’m able to donate because I’ve been very fortunate, but anyone can be a supporter, in some way, for free.”

 Since Bob first learned about Valerie’s House’s mission to help grieving children and families in 2018, he has been an incredible ally and supporter of the organization’s families. From organizing countless community fundraisers to helping lay the foundation for the Val’s PALs mentoring program, Bob has made a profound impact on so many young lives.

Bob credits his religious upbringing and military family for his desire to identify the needs of others and assist in any way he can. It’s this mindset that led him to be a supporter of the grieving families Valerie’s House helps.

After serving three and a half years in the air force and the death of his roommate during the Vietnam War, Bob made a life for himself in the steel industry, where he worked for the next four decades. He is naturally compassionate and often found himself gathering wisdom from his elders and coaching younger team members.

“You learn so much from others,” he said. “Everyone you meet can expose you to something new if you give them the chance.”

Bob thanks and celebrates military veterans by hosting annual luncheons and fundraisers that recognize their sacrifice. While they have been put on hold during the pandemic, he is eager to begin hosting these events again.

Bob says he is still learning every day from his five children, eight grandchildren, and his Val’s PAL mentee, Marcel.

“Marcel is 17, so he’s always teaching me things I didn’t know,” Bob laughed.

Lately, Bob and Marcel’s weekly get-togethers have been focused on the college application process. Bob has been a Val’s PAL to two other Valerie’s House teens who have since moved on to attend college. These relationships, and the guidance and support he has been able to share through them, are his favorite part of volunteering with Valerie’s House.

“I’m involved because I saw that there was so much good being done here,” said Bob. “I’m just a guy trying to make the most of what he’s been given, and I feel blessed every day.”

Coping with Anger - Scream Box Activity

Peek behind the scenes at another Valerie's House peer grief support group activity: Scream Boxes.

Kids, teens, and caregivers will discuss healthy ways to manage anger and frustration that may come from the loss of their loved one or their everyday lives. Then, they make and decorate a scream box using cardboard and tissue paper to give them a place to let it all out and remind them that anger is natural. Valerie’s House is the first and only organization of its kind with the sole mission to help children grieve the loss of a loved one.

With locations in Fort Myers, Naples, Punta Gorda, and Pensacola, Valerie’s House is a special place where children connect with one another and learn the tools to heal after they have experienced the death of someone they love. Learn more: https://valerieshouse.org/​

Grieving children enjoy an evening of fun in Punta Gorda

By NANCY J. SEMON

STAFF WRITER

About a dozen children grieving the loss of a parent, sibling or guardian got the chance to smile again last Friday, when Punta Gorda-based Valerie’s House held a fun evening on the grounds of the First United Methodist Church on West Marion Avenue.

There, the children, who were accompanied by their guardians, got to learn the art of hydro-dipping and participate in designing a deck board to be turned into a skateboard or used as wall art.

Until Valerie’s House finds a permanent home or rental in the area, the church has opened its doors for the children to meet and socialize. Should they need to vent, counselors and facilitators are on hand to help them with their emotional needs.

But only laughter, giggles and excitement were evident Friday as the children interacted with each other and patiently awaited their turn to create a uniquely designed board.

Punta Gorda’s Valerie’s House coordinator Christine Carey was on hand, as were Tim Buck, director of Youth Ministry at the church, and local teacher and veteran Mike Bernicchi, who donated supplies and demonstrated the hydro-dipping technique.

The Punta Gorda Valerie’s House is the third one in Florida, founded by former TV reporter Angela Melvin, who told The Daily Sun how it all started.

When she was 10 in the summer of 1987, Melvin and her 8-year-old sister were waiting for their mother to pick them up from summer camp. But their mom never arrived; she was killed in a car accident on her way to get her children.

From left, youth director at First United Methodist Church Tim Buck, teacher and volunteer Mike Bernicchi, and Valerie’s House coordinator Christine Carey display their hydro-dipped boards.

“Because she died in the summer, by the time we went back to school, we kept it inside; we didn’t want to be different.” Melvin said, “We grieved alone and got through it.”

Fast forward to 2016, when different encounters with others who have lost loved ones, led Melvin to found Valerie’s House in her hometown of Fort Myers. The rented home there provides a haven, of sorts, and its message is, “Where children learn loss doesn’t have to limit their dreams,” she said.

Next, Melvin founded a Valerie’s House in Naples. Between the three, they help more than 1,000 children, she said.

Members of Valerie’s House are grouped according to age — elementary school children, middle schoolers, and teens. They meet twice a month and before COVID-19, their gathering would begin with a dinner. Now, Valerie’s House facilitators — licensed counselors and volunteers — all wear masks along with the children, and social distancing is practiced.

Valerie’s House allows children to talk, participate in activities such as arts and crafts, and if they feel the need to talk about their loss, adults and their peers are there to provide a support system of love and understanding.

After the boards were dipped, the children carefully carried them on the underside and placed them on the ground to dry.

Melvin said children who suffer loss can go in one of two directions. Some become more driven in an attempt to become extremely successful and to “achieve for them (lost loved ones),” Melvin explained. Others go in an opposite direction. They turn to drugs or alcohol to deal with their loss.

Melvin chose the path of over-achievement. A fourth generation Floridian, she graduated from Cypress Lake High School, then the University of Florida, where she received a journalism degree. After working for a decade in broadcasting, she left the media and segued into counseling, as she saw the need to help children who had gone through what she had, she explained.

And the need is great. “One third of the U.S. (population) has dealt with loss as children,” and “one in 11 children will lose a parent before the age of 18, in Florida,” Melvin said.

Valerie’s House helps grieving children learn they can move on. She said, “the best way to work with children grieving is to listen and tell them, you’re not alone — you have friends.”

Christine Carey was a teacher for about two decades. Now retired, she got involved because of an incident that happened in her kindergarten classroom.

“I got a call from a parent who said, ‘One of your students was killed in a car wreck tonight’ and “I dropped to my knees; they are my babies,” she remembered thinking. Carey soon found herself “working with 17 grieving students and the parents of the boy.”

After learning about Valerie’s House on social media, “I just burst into tears,” she said. “I knew that was where that (deceased) child wanted me to be.”

Carey said Valerie’s House “lets the children lead” in discussions and activities; it allows them to have fun, as children should.

Mike Bernicchi, who teaches at The Academy, once demonstrated hydro-dipping to fellow veterans involved in a charity he founded. He closed the charity because he had too many obligations, he said, but he ramped up his involvement in Valerie’s House.

He had left-over skateboard decks he used for the veterans’ project, so he brought them out for Valerie’s House. “I love what they do; it’s a great organization,” he said.

Some dozen or so children and their guardians watched as Bernicchi and Tim Buck hydro-dipped the first boards. They spray-painted water held in rectangular tubs. Then, the boards were slowly submerged below the paint, then raised to capture “swirly,” abstract patterns.

The children could either attach wheels and other gear to make skateboards, or hang them in their room as wall art, Bernicchi explained.

A 20-year veteran of the National Guard, Bernicchi said he got involved with Valerie’s House after a friend of his joined the board of directors for the organization.

By the look on half of Bernicchi’s face (all wore masks, even though the event was held outdoors), it was apparent he was enjoying teaching the children as much as they were having fun with a newly-discovered art project.

And art it was — the children could choose their own colors, and some decided to spray and dip the boards themselves. The younger children allowed Bernicchi to help them, but the enthusiasm was no less.

Carey asked an adult whether the gathering looked like a group of grieving children, and the answer was a resounding “no.” The giggles, excitement and shear joy was evident this day, which gave children a respite from sadness.

SUN PHOTOS BY NANCY J. SEMON

Valerie’s House celebrates 5th anniversary

Organization’s ‘Forever Home’ in the works

By MEGHAN BRADBURY - | Feb 11, 2021

An organization that began in Fort Myers to help children and their families heal together after the death of a loved one is celebrating its fifth anniversary.

Angela Melvin, the founder & CEO of Valerie’s House, said although she has been “so in the moment” of helping the organization grow and reach more kids, the five year anniversary kind of all of a sudden arrived.

“I want to celebrate it because it’s something I want everyone who has helped me get to this place be very proud of being a part of this,” she said. “We have risen. We are no longer a little bird in a nest. We are flying on our own. We are still very young and I recognize it, too. We are growing up. We still have a long way to go and a lot of things to learn, but I’m wanting to pause and recognize (the anniversary).”

Five years ago, Melvin wanted to help children like she once was — a child who lost a parent, brother or sister and is feeling alone in his or her grief. Melvin’s mother, Valerie was 31 years old when she lost her life in an automobile accident, leaving behind a husband and two small children, including then 10-year-old Angela.

Melvin said she wanted to give those children, and parents, who do not have the words to say how they are feeling, or what to say, a voice.

“The main goal was to provide a place where kids could come together. I knew if we could get them together they could help each other more,” she said.

In January 2016, Valerie’s House began in Fort Myers, in a home that Steven Bienko gave to Melvin. She said after Bienko heard her speak, he shared that he had a house zoned commercial, which he was only occupying the upstairs.

“He didn’t need the downstairs part and was willing to clear it out,” Melvin said. “I wanted it to be a cozy, homey house. I wanted an actual house, a home away from home.”

That actual house, she felt would give children a chance, providing them the comfort of a home.

Twenty children and their caregivers were present when Valerie’s House first opened its doors on the evening of Jan. 11, 2016. The organization has grown since to help more than 1,000 children since its inception and has expanded to three locations, including Naples and Punta Gorda.

Valerie’s House is now in its second home, an old historic house built in 1910 with big porches, shady trees outside with picnic tables, bedrooms and a big dining room.

“We always have dinner first. It’s like walking into a Thanksgiving day. You come in and see friends, have dinner together, break bread together, have a meal, play and hang out and then go into grief support groups. We turned the bedrooms into special rooms that are all decorated for appropriate ages,” Melvin said.

The house, which is 2,500 square feet, has already been outgrown.

“We are celebrating this fifth year . . . we will be breaking ground before the end of the year on a new home we are going to build from the ground up. It’s a nice piece of property given to us by the city of Fort Myers,”  Melvin said.

The house will be located on an acre of land off Colonial Boulevard and Veronica S. Shoemaker Boulevard in Fort Myers.

“It’s in a convenient location. A third to half of our families come from Cape Coral. This house is going to be near Colonial and Plantation. They can come directly from the bridge and get over there in the evenings. It’s not too far from 1-75,” she said, which will also benefit families traveling from Port Charlotte, Bonita Springs and Lehigh Acres.

The new home, Melvin has coined “our Forever Home” because when she closes her eyes her dream of always having a place for grieving families beyond her lifetime comes into view.

“They would still have this place that they could call their own and belong to the grieving families, a safe place, even if it’s run by volunteers. The house and space is theirs,” Melvin said.

The preliminary design renderings has the home at about 7,000 square feet, which she said they desperately need.

“We have 200 to 300 children coming to Valerie’s House on a monthly basis with their parents. With social distancing and COVID, it has impacted how we can have people come to our house,” Melvin said.

The home will have a dining room, living room, bedrooms, a big back porch and big area to play, a fireplace and open windows to provide a loving homey feel with great colors.

That homey feeling is where it all starts, Melvin said, because with grief and getting children to talk about their grief, or something bad that has happened to them, they have to feel they can trust you and are in a safe place, emotionally safe.

“Otherwise they are not going to open up about how they feel. The setting is important for children. This is a place I can begin to feel like myself,” she said is the purpose of Valerie’s House.

For example, the current house has a graffiti-decorated teen room with big bold letters saying “Not Alone.”

“To have that written big and bold inside their support room is a sign to them that this is not your typical support group,” Melvin said.

The organization is celebrating its fifth anniversary by asking people in the community to share their “Then and Now” stories of how they were impacted by Valerie’s House either as a family that went through the organization, or a volunteer who provided a helping hand.

“Grieving children can do big things. You don’t have to be a statistic because you lost your mom, or dad, when you were a child. We can help you,” Melvin said.

There are many ways for the community to get involved with Valerie’s House. For starters, Melvin said she is looking for people who have experienced a loss when they were a child.

“We have a mentoring program now where we want to connect children with adults that have made it through,” she said, to show that there is hope.

She asks that individuals who are interested to reach out to her at angela@valerieshouse.org.

As a nonprofit, a grassroots, locally born organization, they are also looking for financial supporters and donors.

“We were born and raised here and it goes directly to the kids and the programs. If you are in a position to give back financially, consider giving back to Valerie’s House. Grief is not going anywhere. My job will never end. It’s an ongoing ministry for providing care to those in need,” she said.

According to the 2020 Childhood Bereavement Estimation Model, one in nine children in Florida are predicted to lose a parent, or sibling, before they turn 21 years old.

Individuals can also help Valerie’s House build its “forever home.” Melvin said there are opportunities for the community to name a room after someone they have lost.

“This will be a forever legacy with our community,” she said of Valerie’s House.

For more information about Valerie’s House, visit www.valerieshouse.org.

Behind the Scenes - Delaney Prepares for Group Night Activity

Peek behind the scenes at a Valerie's House peer grief support group activity: Calm Down Bottles. Kids, teens, and caregivers will discuss healthy ways to cope with stress and the kids will use water, oil, glitter, and beads to create lava lamp-inspired “calm down bottles,” a great sensory object to help them be present and relax.

Valerie’s House Elects New Executive Board Members

FORT MYERS, Fla. – February 9, 2021 – Valerie’s House, the only non-profit organization in Southwest Florida with the sole mission to help children grieve, has added three new members to its executive board.

Elected to the board for two-year terms are:

● Mike McMurray (Chair, Fort Myers) – Team Lead at McMurray & Members of Royal Shell Real Estate. He is also the secretary for The Sanibel Captiva Board of Realtors.

●  Lana Hollier (Vice-Chair, Sanibel) – Senior Vice President and Director of Deposit Operations at Sanibel Captiva Community Bank. She also volunteers with Champions 4 Children SWFL.

●  Jaime Suanez (Secretary, Lehigh Acres) – Executive Assistant to the owner of Storm Smart and the Executive Director of The Rist Family Foundation. She has previously served on the board of the Lehigh Acres Little League.

“Like many that grieve the loss of a loved one, I am blessed to have found Valerie’s House,” McMurray said. “My hope is that being a part of the board will be my legacy of remembrance to those that I have lost. Those that I will always honor and never forget.”

For a full list of Valerie’s House’s Board Members, please visit their website at https://valerieshouse.org/our-board

Valerie’s House celebrates 5 years, expands services to help grieving families

by Krista Fogelsong

January 11, 2021

FORT MYERS, Fla. – It’s a special day at Valerie’s House.

Five years ago Monday, it opened in Fort Myers. Since then, hundreds of families have been comforted after losing a loved one.

Angela Melvin’s mom Valerie died when Angela was only 10 years old. Back then there was no place in Fort Myers for Angela to go to talk about losing a parent.

So she created Valerie’s House to fill that void. Now, kids know they’re not alone.

In the past 5 years, they have helped hundreds of families needing grief counseling and support. They’ve also expanded from Lee into Collier and Charlotte counties.

“It’s hard work. It’s serious work and I will never give up on these children and families ever, and I would like people to know that this is a place of hope and joy and overcoming obstacles and odds,” Melvin said.

Valerie’s House has also added support groups for the loss of siblings and spouses.

Thanks to generous donations, families can go to Valerie’s house free of charge. Melvin said she is grateful to the community support.