Seeing her friends at group night is something Savannah looks forward to every two weeks. Her smile lights up the room, and her positive energy seems to follow her everywhere she goes. “At Valerie’s House, you turn that grief and that anger and that guilt into positivity and happiness,” Savannah said. “It has changed my life.”
Read MoreThe support many of you have already provided to our Every Sunset Brings the Promise of a New Dawn Campaign has meant so much to us. This year has been full of twists and turns, and grieving families have had to navigate loss under unprecedented circumstances.
We are proud to share that Valerie’s House families continue to meet adversity head-on and grow together because of our supportive community. Please take a moment to hear from Grady, who went from lost and lonely to a student council member with big dreams for his future. If you haven’t already donated to the campaign, please consider helping us continue to provide support and encouragement to kids who are grieving the loss of a loved one.
These teens aren’t letting loss limit their dreams.
Valerie’s House, a nonprofit organization in Southwest Florida with the sole focus of helping children grieve, and the Franz Ross YMCA, a nonprofit that strengthens our community with programs that teach, connect and encourage, invite the public to honor Children’s Grief Awareness month by participating in their Virtual Hero 5K, November 19-26.
Read MoreFL, October 26, 2020 – Valerie’s House announced today a $25,000 Grief Reach grant from the New York Life Foundation to support their Virtual Peer Support Groups, which addresses the needs of bereaved youth and their families.
“We are grateful for the New York Life Foundation’s investment in this program, which will help us build our capacity in order to fulfill our mission,” said Valerie’s House Founder & CEO, Angela Melvin. “This partnership enables our organization to continue supporting the needs of grieving children and their families in our community.”
“For nearly a decade, the New York Life Foundation, through its Grief Reach Grant has provided funding to local organizations that provide support services to bereaved youth. The global pandemic has not only impacted our day to day life but also how we grieve and our access to grief support,” said Maria Collins, Vice President of the New York Life Foundation. “In order to ensure local bereavement nonprofits had the funding they needed to serve a growing population of grieving families; our investment shifted from a traditional funding structure to one that was more flexible to ensure bereavement support is available to all who need it.”
Over 300 Grief Reach grants totaling more than $10 million have been awarded since the program’s inception in 2011. The New York Life Foundation has been one of the leading funders of the childhood bereavement field, investing nearly $55 million to date in support of grieving children and their families.
About the New York Life Foundation
Inspired by New York Life’s tradition of service and humanity, the New York Life Foundation has, since its founding in 1979, provided nearly $360 million in charitable contributions to national and local nonprofit organizations. The Foundation supports programs that benefit young people, particularly in the areas of educational enhancement and childhood bereavement. The Foundation also encourages and facilitates the community involvement of employees and agents of New York Life through its Volunteers for Good and Grief-Sensitive Schools programs. To learn more, please visit www.newyorklifefoundation.org.
About Valerie’s House
As the first and only organization in Southwest Florida with the sole mission of helping children grieve, Valerie’s House has helped more than 1,000 children and their families since opening its doors in 2016. The nonprofit provides a safe, comfortable place to heal following the death of a loved one. Valerie’s House offers support groups and other activities at their home in Fort Myers at 1762 Fowler Street and Naples at 819 Myrtle Terrace. The organization also holds group meetings at First United Methodist Church in Punta Gorda. Valerie’s House is a United Way partner agency and is fully supported by community donations that can be made online at www.valerieshouse.org or by mail to Valerie’s House, Inc., P.O. Box 1955, Fort Myers, FL 33902.
Live broadcast following premiere of the documentary on WGCU TV
Fort Myers, Florida – September 24, 2020 – Valerie’s House, a nonprofit organization in Southwest Florida with the sole focus of helping children grieve, and WGCU Public Media, a PBS and NPR affiliate and member-supported service of Florida Gulf Coast University, invite the public to take part in a community initiative to create a more grief-aware society. Tune in to WGCU PBS Sunday, September 27th, at 11 a.m. to watch the award-winning documentary, Speaking Grief, or watch it online at www.speakinggrief.org. Then, listen in on WGCU FM Tuesday, September 29, at 1 p.m. as Gulf Coast Life producer Mike Kiniry, Valerie's House Founder & CEO Angela Melvin and others tee-up for the for a virtual Zoom discussion later that day at 6 p.m. Speaking Grief explores the transformative experience of losing a family member in a death- and grief-avoidant society. This national public media initiative includes a one-hour television documentary, campaign and numerous community engagement events, all aimed at starting a national conversation about grief.
Moving away from the idea that grief is a problem that needs to be “fixed,” Speaking Grief validates the experience of grievers and guides those wishing to support them.
“There is no right way to grieve,” Melvin said. “Speaking Grief illustrates that grief is a universal, yet individual experience. Anyone who has ever lost someone close to them or knows someone who has experienced grief should watch this eye-opening film.”
Support for this project is provided by WPSU Penn State and The New York Life Foundation.
To RSVP for the September 29th Virtual Live Discussion, go to wgcu.org/events.
To Watch a free screening of Speaking Grief, visit www.SpeakingGrief.org
About Valerie’s House
As the first and only organization in Southwest Florida with the sole mission of helping children grieve, Valerie’s House has helped more than 1,000 children and their families since opening its doors in 2016. The nonprofit provides a safe, comfortable place to heal following the death of a loved one. Valerie’s House offers support groups and other activities at their home in Fort Myers at 1762 Fowler Street and Naples at 819 Myrtle Terrace. The organization also holds group meetings at First United Methodist Church in Punta Gorda. Valerie’s House is a United Way partner agency and is fully supported by community donations that can be made online at www.valerieshouse.org or by mail to Valerie’s House, Inc., P.O. Box 1955, Fort Myers, FL 33902.
About WGCU Public Media
WGCU Public Media is Southwest Florida’s source for PBS and NPR. WGCU provides quality programming 24 hours a day and is a trusted storyteller, teacher, theater, library and traveling companion. As a member-supported service of Florida Gulf Coast University, WGCU’s mission is to provide educational programming that inspires, informs and engages our community.
Serving all or part of 12 counties in South and Southwest Florida with five distinct digital TV channels, two FM radio channels, two HD radio channels and one subcarrier, WGCU delivers national and international programming and develops, produces and delivers relevant, informative and educational local programs to the Southwest Florida community.
Educational programs, community-based initiatives and informative and entertaining events make public media integral to the vitality of Southwest Florida. WGCU is reaching beyond its service area to the country and the world through web-based applications.
Many of its locally produced programs have been broadcast throughout the country. WGCU has received numerous national, regional, state and local awards for its locally produced television and radio programs.
Cynthia Williams
Special to Fort Myers News-Press
Dozens of articles have been published about Angela Melvin and Valerie’s House, the nonprofit she founded in 2016 with the mission to “help children and families work through the loss of a loved one together and go on to live fulfilling lives.” Doubtless, all who are familiar with Valerie’s House know that its founder named the organization after her mother, Valerie Melvin, who died in 1987.
But to fully appreciate Melvin’s vision — "that no child will grieve alone” — it is necessary to step inside the front door of the house in the Town & River neighborhood in Fort Myers on the afternoon of July 16, 1987, and to hear a child crying.
"Daddy, what's wrong?"
The 10-year-old is moving blindly through the house, screeching, her shrieks ear-piercing. Her face is flaming, the pupils of her eyes unnaturally dilated. But no matter how shrill her screams, she can’t beat back her father’s voice in her ears saying, “Your mother is dead.”
The child’s terror strikes her father’s heart like bright, flashing blades until finally he stops her, catches her in his arms and holds her tight, as her body, like a surging heart, kicks against his.
Angela: “My mother died July 16, 1987, around 3 p.m. She was on her way to pick my sister and me up from summer camp at the skating rink near what is now Six Mile Cypress and 41. She and her friend had been at Fort Myers Beach on what was one of my mom’s rare days off [work]. They had stopped at my dad’s furniture store near Summerlin and Gladiolus. After leaving there, they took Gladiolus to 41.”
Valerie Melvin was killed when her friend drove across the center line on “dead man’s curve,” just west of Lakes Park, and collided head on with a pick-up truck.
Angela and her little sister, Lisa, waited almost an hour for their mother to pick them up that afternoon. Their summer camp counselors began making phone calls and a while later, the girls’ grandmother arrived. Told them she was taking them home with her until their mother was found.
They were playing in their grandmother’s yard when their uncle drove up. Angela’s father got slowly out of the passenger side of the front seat. As he approached his daughters, they could see he had been crying. The girls clutched at him. “Daddy, what’s wrong? Daddy, where’s Mommy?”
Angela: “He walked my sister and me in the house and sat us down in the bedroom and told us, ‘Your mother is dead.’
“That night, lying in bed beside Lisa, I asked my father, ‘Are you sure she isn’t coming back?’ And through tears he said, ‘Yes, I’m sure.’”
To be told that the mother you saw in the morning is dead in the afternoon of the same day is a physical sensation. It’s like having your brain ripped from your skull. It’s like blacking out.
Learning to grieve
Angela was a freshman at the University of Florida when she finally began to grieve the loss of her mother. She had not known what to do with her pain and fear, so she had locked them down tight, afraid that if they got loose, they might devour her.
She had not known that grieving should be a natural, healthy process, not a silent, hidden one. She had inferred, from the stoicism of her mother’s own parents, that she should not display her pain. That sorrow must be borne privately.
Angela: “I spent the majority of my childhood rarely talking about my mother. Because my mother died in the summer, it was a lot easier for me to hide what happened. This began the inner turmoil of hiding her death. I never wanted anyone to see me as ‘less than’ or weird. I just didn’t mention it.
“My dad never did, either. In fact, no one did. He cried for a little that first year, and certainly that first Christmas, but as time went on, the pictures of their wedding and our life with my mother came down from the shelves and off the walls of our home. He started dating again. He remarried. My mother was rarely spoken of again.
“I’ve asked my dad why he never talked about my mother to us. He told me it was too hard. He said no one ever brought her up to him either. We all grieved in silence. We all grieved alone.”
Through her middle and high school years, Angela stayed feverishly busy. She had a lot of friends and extracurricular activities. She studied hard, driven to excel, dreaming of doing grand things in a world far from Fort Myers.
Angela: “I was a big dreamer…extremely ambitious. Grief experts say that whatever a child was like before the death often becomes exaggerated or on overdrive after the death. After my mom died, I became an overachiever.”
In June 1998, Angela’s brand new degree in journalism and communications, along with a good measure of brazen determination, landed her an on-air job at an ABC station in Columbus, Georgia. Over the next 10 years, she also worked in television stations in Tennessee, the Florida panhandle, and West Palm Beach.
Angela: “It was while working in Tennessee in 2003 that I heard about a special grief camp for children. I became a counselor that summer. It was the first time in my life that I saw how children in pain connected and needed each other, needed to talk about their loss. A seed was planted in my mind.”
It was while working at the NBC station in West Palm Beach that Angela discovered a little house for grieving kids called, “Hearts and Hope.” Angela met the director and toured the house with the intention of becoming involved in the program, but instead, she accepted the position of communications director in Washington, D.C. for a friend who had just won a seat in the U.S. House of Representatives.
A dream come true
Two years later, Angela decided she needed a break and that, as “it had been almost 20 years since I left Fort Myers, maybe I needed to go spend some time with my family.”
To the great good fortune of generations of children to come, Angela Melvin moved back to Fort Myers in 2012, and while working as a TV traffic anchor in the early mornings and managing a local chapter of Big Brothers Big Sisters, began looking for a grieving child to spend time with. Ironically, she had no idea where to find one.
Then she met a 6-year-old girl named, Camryn, whose mother had died from a sudden brain aneurysm. When her father said helplessly to Angela, “We don’t know where to go or what to do,” her heart broke.
That was it. Time to act. She had no idea how, but she had to do something for grieving families.
She began to scribble the words, “Valerie’s House,” in a notebook she carried around with her. She began to keep notes on what Valerie’s House would be like, and what it would take to build it.
Angela: “I wanted a safe place where kids could be themselves and talk about their grief, instead of bottling it up for years like I did. I also didn’t want children to feel ashamed of their loss or that they were somehow broken. I wanted them to see they weren’t alone, and that it was OK to grieve, to share memories.
“One day when I was telling someone about Valerie’s House, I said ‘It will be a place where they learn that loss doesn’t have to limit their dreams.’ I said that off the cuff, as I remembered having big dreams when I was little. My dad told my sister and me that we could still have everything we wanted out of life, despite our mom being gone. That really helped me believe in myself.”
At first, Valerie’s House was nothing but the scattered pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, but in 2014 and 2015, with help from her friends, Angela began to snap the pieces together and her dream began to take shape. When a businessman, Stephen Bienko, offered her his home in historic Dean Park, the dream became reality.
Angela: “As soon as I walked in, I knew it was Valerie’s House. It was built in the early 1900s and had such a special feel, a lot of light, high ceilings, and separate rooms for the kids to meet. It even had a backyard area where they could hang out.
“Valerie’s House scheduled its first grief support group in January 2016. I wondered if anyone would actually show up. Boy, did they ever. That first night we had 25 children and their parents.
“To date, we have had more 1,000 children and their families come through Valerie’s House. We have added a house in Naples and started a group in Punta Gorda in 2019. Next year, we will open a Valerie’s House in Pensacola.
“We have grown from a small volunteer staff to a professional staff of 10, including three licensed social workers and counselors. Some of the kids who started with us four years ago are mentoring grieving children in our program today.”
And, “We have been gifted a one-acre parcel by the city of Fort Myers to build our dream home and headquarters!”
When children are asked how Valerie’s House has helped them, the answer is essentially the same, always. “It has taught me that I am not alone,” “given me friends and a family,” “taught me how to open up,” “helped me find my voice,” “changed my life forever,” and sweetest of all, “Valerie’s House saved me.”
“My dream,” says big dreamer Angela, “is that Valerie’s House will always be a place for grieving children, even well beyond my lifetime. Children will never have to grieve alone again.”
To read the short, remarkable history of Valerie’s House, to meet the staff and the children, to learn about its programs and plans for the future, please visit valerieshouseswfl.org.
Sunset theme will focus on shining light in the face of darkness
Fort Myers, Florida – August 31, 2020 – Valerie’s House, the only organization in Southwest Florida with the sole focus of helping children grieve, has decided to cancel its annual Sunset Soiree event, normally held in the month of October, due to ongoing COVID-19 safety concerns. 2020 would have been the fourth year hosting the Sunset Soiree.
In lieu of the event, Valerie’s House is launching the Every Sunset Brings the Promise of a New Dawn giving campaign. Various photos of children and families in the Valerie’s House program with the backdrop of the Southwest Florida sunset will be shown throughout the next few months over social media and other outlets reminding the community of the promise of a new beginning, even in times of darkness. The goal of the campaign is to raise $100,000 from individuals and businesses for the children of Valerie’s House across Lee, Charlotte and Collier counties.
“Our families need to see that we are not letting this tough time stop us from doing everything we can to make sure Valerie’s House is always there for them,” said Founder and CEO Angela Melvin. “When families walk into Valerie’s House, we are often the light during a dark time, and the sunset is a reminder to them that even with sadness, beauty awaits us in life.”
Since the start of the pandemic, Valerie’s House has experienced an influx of new children entering the program for help with grieving the death of a parent or sibling. Since April 1, more than 230 children have attended a grief support group, either virtually or in-person at either the Fort Myers or Naples houses. Valerie’s House has incorporated the wearing of face coverings and implemented social distancing during group nights to abide by CDC guidelines.
Dollars raised during the Every Sunset Brings the Promise of a New Dawn campaign will go directly to their mission of helping children and families work through the loss of a loved one together. Valerie’s House has a vision that No Child Grieves Alone. The campaign kicks off September 1 and will run through November 30, 2020.
Supporters can learn more about helping Valerie’s House reach it’s $100,000 goal by visiting www.valeriehouseswfl.org and clicking the Sunset Campaign page. The organization’s Facebook page also has more details on supporting the organization.
Click HERE to donate to the Every Sunset Brings the Promise of a New Dawn campaign.
About Valerie’s House
As the first and only organization in Southwest Florida with the sole mission of helping children grieve, Valerie’s House has helped more than 1,000 children and their families since opening its doors in 2016. The nonprofit provides a safe, comfortable place to heal following the death of a loved one. Valerie’s House offers support groups and other activities at their home in Fort Myers at 1762 Fowler Street and Naples at 819 Myrtle Terrace. The organization also holds group meetings at First United Methodist Church in Punta Gorda. Valerie’s House is a United Way partner agency and is fully supported by community donations that can be made online at www.valerieshouseswfl.org or by mail to Valerie’s House, Inc., P.O. Box 1955, Fort Myers, FL 33902.
In the past 90 days, 67 new children have signed up for the Valerie’s House program. But current members like Jason Bishop said, he’ll be one of the first in line to get back inside.
“Feeling like I’m home and feeling like I have friends and family all in one together,” said Valerie’s House teen, Jason Bishop.
FORT MYERS, Fla. - August 1, 2020 - Come Monday morning Aug. 3, Valerie’s House will be back open for in-person grief support groups.
“There’s a lot of energy right now leading up to this opening,” said Valerie’s House Founder and CEO Angela Melvin. “When we reached out to the families, overwhelmingly they said we want to come back even if it means it looks different or we have to wear a face-covering or we have to stay a little more apart than we normally would.”
Face coverings are just one of the many additions to Valerie’s House due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Everyone must social distance and hand sanitizers will be placed throughout the house.
“Being back in person is very important. It’s very important to just be able to come together and even if it’s just looking into each other’s eyes and being able to connect.”
FORT MYERS, Fla. – July 21, 2020 – Valerie’s House, the only non-profit organization in Southwest Florida with its sole mission to help children grieve, is reopening Monday, Aug. 3, with in-person support groups at its three locations in Lee, Collier, and Charlotte counties.
“Grief is already isolating. Having to do it alone is not who we are,” said Valerie’s House Founder and CEO Angela Melvin. "We have a solid plan in place. However, we also know that at any moment, things can change. We are moving forward, but with caution."
During the past 90 days, 67 new children joined the Valerie’s House program, including children who lost a family member to the virus. Valerie’s House has been offering virtual support groups since March 29 due to the COVID-19 pandemic. A survey sent to families indicated 80 percent wanted to come back to meeting in person.
Safety precautions will be enacted, including requiring face coverings, social distancing, and temperature checks of each person as well as a form that each person will sign attesting they have not been ill or associated with anyone who has COVID-19. Chairs and floor cushions the children sit on will be placed six feet apart. Some groups will be conducted outside under tents.
"We may not be on the hospital's front lines, but we're right behind them,” Melvin said. “That means we have to pivot and adjust. The important thing is that we're together.”
All children will receive a face covering at the first meeting that they can decorate in honor of their loved ones. Staff will clean all surfaces each night with a deep cleaning weekly by a professional company. Family dinners will no longer be offered.
Valerie's House has also added additional nights for grief support to allow for social distancing and increased demand. Groups now will be offered every night Monday through Thursday at each of the locations throughout Southwest Florida. Two additional counselors have been hired to accommodate the expanded schedule, bringing the total number of employees to 10, including three licensed clinicians.
“We are spending money that we had not planned for, but the work we are doing is crucial to helping children during this dark time," Melvin said.
Virtual groups will continue to be available for families who want to continue meeting online. In addition to providing grief support groups, Valerie's House also sends an e-newsletter to their families and focuses their efforts on connecting families with additional resources in the community.
Valerie's House is accepting appointments for new enrollments. Families in need of grief support for children can reach Program Director, Amy Strom by phone at 239-841-9186 or by emailing, amy@valerieshouseswfl.org.
“Our doors are always open to families in grief,” Melvin said.
About Valerie’s House
As the first and only organization in Southwest Florida with the sole mission of helping children grieve, Valerie’s House has helped more than 1,000 children and their families since opening its doors in 2016. Valerie’s House provides a safe, comfortable place to heal together following the death of someone they love. Valerie’s House offers support groups and other activities at a home on 1762 Fowler Street in Fort Myers and a home in Naples at 819 Myrtle Terrace. Valerie's House also holds group meetings at First United Methodist Church in Punta Gorda. Valerie's House is a United Way partner agency and is fully supported by community donations that can be made online at www.valerieshouseswfl.org or by mail to Valerie’s House, Inc., P.O. Box 1955, Fort Myers, FL 33902.
Valerie’s House Susan Bennett Marketing & Media
239-204-5804 (239) 277-5255
Over 80 children joined our program, including children who’ve lost family members to COVID-19, since the pandemic started. We are so excited to reopen our doors!
Click here to read the full story.
FORT MYERS, Fla. - July 31, 2020 - Valerie's House is resuming in-person grief groups.
Over the past 90 days, Valerie's House says over 60 children have joined its grief support program, including children who've lost family members to COVID-19.
The organization has been hosting virtual sessions since the start of the pandemic but says it's now time to welcome families back.
For kids and teenagers like Jason Bishop, Valerie's House provides a safe place for them to grieve the loss of a loved one.
"If I didn't come here, I'd probably have every emotion bottled up, and it wouldn't be pretty," said Jason.
Jason lost his dad in 2018, and recently his mom in a car accident — now he leans on Valerie's House in Fort Myers for support.
"My grandma kind of pushed me to come here, I wasn't really too excited about it in the beginning, but after I got with the first and second group I felt a lot more comfortable," said Jason.
For the past four months, the non-profit has been hosting its grief support groups virtually.
"When the pandemic first started, we knew right away we were going to have to close the physical doors because most of our group nights run 40 to 50 people," said Angela Melvin, CEO & Founder of Valerie's House.
But now, Melvin says it's time to welcome back their families for in-person group nights.
Heather Payne has heard the innocent screams of a baby addicted to drugs. She has consoled grieving parents who have just lost a child. She has helped families find the courage and strength they didn't think existed after enduring a tragedy. Now, the woman who always knew that helping others would be her life's work brings knowledge, expertise, caring, and compassion to Valerie's House as the new Director of Care and Compassion.
She will focus on one-on-one support for children and families that extend beyond grief group sessions at Valerie's House.
Heather also works with an animal rescue group and this was one of the adoptable dogs.
"I think this was the next logical step for me, the next right thing to do," said Payne, who has worked as a nurse and mental health counselor for 43 years.
Payne, who grew up in St. John's, the Canadian province of Newfoundland, was adopted as an infant. She lost her father when she was 20 years old. "There was no grief support," she said. "You got three days of bereavement leave and went back to work. It made me realize that everyone needs someone to listen to them and help them through hard times."
Payne, who lived in Newfoundland for 32 years, worked as a registered nurse at a children's hospital. She also worked as a nurse in Michigan before going to Golisano Children's Hospital in Fort Myers, where she was assigned to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. She primarily treated critically ill newborns and infants born addicted to drugs.
"The drug-addicted babies would pull at your heart because they suffered through no fault of their own," Payne said. "You had to develop boundaries, be empathetic.”
As a nurse, Payne was always interested in people, their feelings, and their stories. NICU could be life at its worst. "People think you have the best job in the world, and you get to play with cute babies," she said. "Not always, the experience still gives me chills."
Maintaining personal boundaries was never easy to watch babies suffer, and to console distraught parents who watched helplessly as their newborns fought for their lives. She became proficient at "self-care." Her therapies are being outdoors and near the water, going to the gym, escaping to a good book, and spending time with the joys of her life – her grandchildren and two dogs.
Her experiences in NICU led Payne to the Pediatric Bereavement program at Lee Health, where she focused on mental health counseling, providing support for families who have lost children. She then became a pediatric and pregnancy coordinator and offered private counseling for Delta Family Counseling, LLC.
Payne became connected to the care and grief support at Valerie's House through her work at Lee Health. She often directed families to Valerie's House, "There is an incredible, warm, positive feeling at Valerie's House," Payne said.
She started volunteering in 2016, then stepped back because of work demands in 2017, and went back as a volunteer in 2018, working with the Moms and Caregivers groups.
"It is an atmosphere where I feel like everyone is wrapped in love and support," Payne said. "You watch families come through the worst times of their lives, and become stronger, and move forward with incredible experiences".
Valerie's House provides Payne with a "team approach" to care that she embraces. "My position at the hospital was very intense, very, in the moment. It is very different from working with a whole team and everyone dedicated to the same mission. They are there to support each other. It is a place that brings hope."
Ashely, Silvia and Elizabeth share wisdom and experiences gained through their experience with the Val's Pal Community Mentoring Program.
Sierra Ritchey was approaching her senior year at Florida Gulf Coast University. She was excited about her future when the horrifying news that her older brother, Kenny, had been killed in a car accident.
Kenny had a history of seizures but never experienced one while driving. She was in shock, so were her parents. Sierra knew she had to push her own emotions aside and take charge of her family. She was the one who identified her brother through his driver's license, made most of the funeral arrangements, and wrote his obituary.
“At the hospital, I was the one who stopped crying almost immediately because I knew I needed to be there for my parents,” Sierra said. “It was a big responsibility put on my shoulders.”
She wrote her brother's obituary and described him in perfect detail. She wrote about her brother's love for sports and their life growing up in the mountain town of Hollidaysburg, Pa., before moving to Florida six years ago.
She became the family pillar, but inside Sierra was paralyzed by pain, she had no one to share her grief with until she found Valerie's House.
Sierra returned to class at FGCU for the fall semester about six months after Kenny died. Dr. Eric Dent, a professor at FGCU and his wife, invited Sierra to the grand opening of the new Valerie's House in Naples. "Literally, as soon as I stepped in, Ally (O'Brien) greeted me, and then I met Angela. They were so excited I was there."
"When I met Sierra and heard her story of loss and how she wanted to help others, I knew she belonged with the Valerie's House family," said Angela Melvin, Founder, and CEO of Valerie's House. "We support her, and in turn, she supports our children by being compassionate and understanding their pain. Her uplifting spirit and big smiles let the kids know they are going to be Ok."
Sierra was invited to sit in with the teen's group and soon, was volunteering at Valerie's House, working with the Littles, Middles, and Teens groups. "They really took me in," Sierra said.
Sierra, 21, was one of the youngest volunteers and one of the oldest in the teen group, and in some ways, it was difficult for her to connect. She now attends the Young Adults Group. Sierra has also become a regular guest host on a podcast with Assistant Director of Group Support, Ally O'Brien. Together they share personal feelings and give their audience tools to help process their loss.
"I walked in and was nervous because I had never talked to a group of people about my brother," she said. "people were telling me their stories. I never had a platform where I could openly tell my story."
Sierra also did not think anyone had experienced a tragedy like hers and soon realized she was not alone.
"As a volunteer, I struggled with how my life was just awful," she said, "that no one else's problems were bigger than mine. At Valerie's House, no one tries to out due the other. There is no comparing grief and that is the most significant thing I have learned at Valerie's House."
Sierra graduated from FGCU in just three years with honors and a 3.94 GPA. The Pandemic kept Sierra from the traditional graduation ceremony at FGCU, but now, she has other things to celebrate.
Besides her work at Valerie's House, she also volunteers with the Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Sun Coast, providing love to 7-year-old Tamaya. Having a Bachelor's Degree in Psychology, Sierra hopes to start a career in human resources.
"Valerie's House is the best place you never want to find," Sierra said. "They are an army of strength behind you. You walk in, and there are always smiles. We don't talk about death all the time, and we get excited to share stories about our loved ones."
Personal experience with Loss and Love of Art is a driving force for a new therapist at Valerie's House
Monika Urbanska arrived in the United States to start a new life with her family at the age of six, in 1992. A native of Poland, she did not speak English and began to use art as a form of communication as she learned the language.
"I have always been a visual person," Monika said. "Art became a natural coping skill at home because my mom was an artist."
Monika and 9-year-old Cash painting Valerie's House fence mural on Fowler Street in Fort Myers.
The little girl who learned English through watching cartoons and movies knew that art was how she could help others. "Kids can use art throughout their whole lives," she said, "and you don't have to be talented to be creative. Art has always been helpful to me".
That coping skill soon became a life skill. Today, she uses art and its powerful images as a therapy to help children and adults in her role as a Family Support Counselor at Valerie's House. She leads many of the children's grief support groups and assists in the caregiver and grandparent groups.
Monika's mom, an artist herself, was very nurturing and taught her the value of art and how the world of art and creativity transforms people. When Monika was very young, her mother was diagnosed with cancer. Sadly, she lost her battle in 2007, when Monika was in college.
Monika received a bachelor's degree from Boston University and in 2009, moved to Florida with her brother. She soon began teaching special needs students at De LaSalle Academy in Fort Myers. She enrolled in the graduate program at Saint Mary-of-the-Woods College and received a Master's Degree in Counseling and Art Therapy.
Through her own grief experience with her mom's illness and death, Monika knew her life's work was going to be in counseling and began volunteering at Valerie's House.
"Having a Valerie's House when I was a teenager would have been so helpful to me while I grieved", she said.
Monika joined the staff of Valerie's House in May 2020 as a Family Grief Counselor, specializing in Art Therapy. The Pandemic has led to an increase in grieving children, and Monika now also leads various virtual individual and group therapies for children and their caregivers. Her focus is always art and how it can be applied as a tool to help in the grieving and healing process.
Monika looks for specific indicators in a person and how particular forms of art and images may connect with them.
"A graphic image seen by a child can mean something entirely different to an adult," she said.
Art Therapy can reveal a child's emotional state, and Monika uses different forms of art and images as a tool during her sessions. Art Therapy also builds confidence and helps children form bonds with each other. "It opens up a conversation with the kids," Monika said.
Art Therapy provides a pathway to healing, and Monika uses an individual's unique brand of creativity to build on those pathways.
"Monika has dedicated her life to helping children who are hurting by using the healing power of Art Therapy," Valerie's House Founder and CEO Angela Melvin said. "Her understanding of loss and her creative approach to helping families heal is making an impact on everyone in our programs."
Please consider helping Valerie's House continue to provide Art Therapy and the necessary tools to love and care for families while they grieve by donating today.
From the Valerie’s House family, we applaud the accomplishments and perseverance of our high school and college GRADUATES. They have overcome their loss and triumphed in their young life. This is only the beginning for them. Watch this tribute to the Valerie's House GRADUATES, what they share about their Grief Journey during high school and advice to other teens grieving.
This is all about Allie. View her video below.
Hope you enjoyed meeting Allie.
VALERIE’S HOUSE, INC.
Fort Myers • Naples • Charlotte County • Pensacola
Phone 239-204-5804
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