Introducing the Valerie’s House Val’s Pals Community Mentoring Program

Ashely, Silvia and Elizabeth share wisdom and experiences gained through their experience with the Val's Pal Community Mentoring Program.

Volunteer Spotlight: Sierra Ritchey

Sierra gives others strength, compassion

Sierra Ritchey was approaching her senior year at Florida Gulf Coast University. She was excited about her future when the horrifying news that her older brother, Kenny, had been killed in a car accident.

Kenny had a history of seizures but never experienced one while driving.  She was in shock, so were her parents. Sierra knew she had to push her own emotions aside and take charge of her family. She was the one who identified her brother through his driver's license, made most of the funeral arrangements, and wrote his obituary.

“At the hospital, I was the one who stopped crying almost immediately because I knew I needed to be there for my parents,” Sierra said. “It was a big responsibility put on my shoulders.”

She wrote her brother's obituary and described him in perfect detail.  She wrote about her brother's love for sports and their life growing up in the mountain town of Hollidaysburg, Pa., before moving to Florida six years ago.

She became the family pillar, but inside Sierra was paralyzed by pain, she had no one to share her grief with until she found Valerie's House.

Sierra returned to class at FGCU for the fall semester about six months after Kenny died. Dr. Eric Dent, a professor at FGCU and his wife, invited Sierra to the grand opening of the new Valerie's House in Naples. "Literally, as soon as I stepped in, Ally (O'Brien) greeted me, and then I met Angela. They were so excited I was there."

"When I met Sierra and heard her story of loss and how she wanted to help others, I knew she belonged with the Valerie's House family," said Angela Melvin, Founder, and CEO of Valerie's House. "We support her, and in turn, she supports our children by being compassionate and understanding their pain. Her uplifting spirit and big smiles let the kids know they are going to be Ok."

Sierra was invited to sit in with the teen's group and soon, was volunteering at Valerie's House, working with the Littles, Middles, and Teens groups. "They really took me in," Sierra said.

Sierra, 21, was one of the youngest volunteers and one of the oldest in the teen group, and in some ways, it was difficult for her to connect. She now attends the Young Adults Group.  Sierra has also become a regular guest host on a podcast with Assistant Director of Group Support, Ally O'Brien.  Together they share personal feelings and give their audience tools to help process their loss. 

"I walked in and was nervous because I had never talked to a group of people about my brother," she said. "people were telling me their stories. I never had a platform where I could openly tell my story."

Sierra also did not think anyone had experienced a tragedy like hers and soon realized she was not alone.

"As a volunteer, I struggled with how my life was just awful," she said, "that no one else's problems were bigger than mine. At Valerie's House, no one tries to out due the other. There is no comparing grief and that is the most significant thing I have learned at Valerie's House."

Sierra graduated from FGCU in just three years with honors and a 3.94 GPA. The Pandemic kept Sierra from the traditional graduation ceremony at FGCU, but now, she has other things to celebrate.

Besides her work at Valerie's House, she also volunteers with the Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Sun Coast, providing love to 7-year-old Tamaya. Having a Bachelor's Degree in Psychology, Sierra hopes to start a career in human resources.

"Valerie's House is the best place you never want to find," Sierra said. "They are an army of strength behind you. You walk in, and there are always smiles. We don't talk about death all the time, and we get excited to share stories about our loved ones."

Portrait of an Artist

Personal experience with Loss and Love of Art is a driving force for a new therapist at Valerie's House  

Monika Urbanska arrived in the United States to start a new life with her family at the age of six, in 1992.  A native of Poland, she did not speak English and began to use art as a form of communication as she learned the language.

"I have always been a visual person," Monika said. "Art became a natural coping skill at home because my mom was an artist."

Monika and 9-year-old Cash painting Valerie's House fence mural on Fowler Street in Fort Myers.

The little girl who learned English through watching cartoons and movies knew that art was how she could help others. "Kids can use art throughout their whole lives," she said, "and you don't have to be talented to be creative. Art has always been helpful to me".

That coping skill soon became a life skill. Today, she uses art and its powerful images as a therapy to help children and adults in her role as a Family Support Counselor at Valerie's House. She leads many of the children's grief support groups and assists in the caregiver and grandparent groups.

Monika's mom, an artist herself, was very nurturing and taught her the value of art and how the world of art and creativity transforms people. When Monika was very young, her mother was diagnosed with cancer. Sadly, she lost her battle in 2007, when Monika was in college.

Monika received a bachelor's degree from Boston University and in 2009, moved to Florida with her brother. She soon began teaching special needs students at De LaSalle Academy in Fort Myers. She enrolled in the graduate program at Saint Mary-of-the-Woods College and received a Master's Degree in Counseling and Art Therapy.

Through her own grief experience with her mom's illness and death, Monika knew her life's work was going to be in counseling and began volunteering at Valerie's House.

"Having a Valerie's House when I was a teenager would have been so helpful to me while I  grieved", she said.

Monika joined the staff of Valerie's House in May 2020 as a Family Grief Counselor, specializing in Art Therapy. The Pandemic has led to an increase in grieving children, and Monika now also leads various virtual individual and group therapies for children and their caregivers.  Her focus is always art and how it can be applied as a tool to help in the grieving and healing process.

Monika looks for specific indicators in a person and how particular forms of art and images may connect with them.

"A graphic image seen by a child can mean something entirely different to an adult," she said.

Art Therapy can reveal a child's emotional state, and Monika uses different forms of art and images as a tool during her sessions. Art Therapy also builds confidence and helps children form bonds with each other. "It opens up a conversation with the kids," Monika said.

Art Therapy provides a pathway to healing, and Monika uses an individual's unique brand of creativity to build on those pathways.

"Monika has dedicated her life to helping children who are hurting by using the healing power of Art Therapy," Valerie's House Founder and CEO Angela Melvin said. "Her understanding of loss and her creative approach to helping families heal is making an impact on everyone in our programs."

Please consider helping Valerie's House continue to provide Art Therapy and the necessary tools to love and care for families while they grieve by donating today.

Celebrating Valerie's House 2020 High School Grads!

From the Valerie’s House family, we applaud the accomplishments and perseverance of our high school and college GRADUATES. They have overcome their loss and triumphed in their young life. This is only the beginning for them. Watch this tribute to the Valerie's House GRADUATES, what they share about their Grief Journey during high school and advice to other teens grieving.

Allie O'Brien

This is all about Allie. View her video below.

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Hope you enjoyed meeting Allie.

Parenting During a Pandemic

Valerie's House Program Director Amy Strom shares her thoughts and tips on parenting during this stressful time.

Valerie's House Mothers Day Message

Diana, Nayah, CJ and Stori provide us with a glimpse into Mothers Day in their life. They provide wisdom, love and advice to any willing to listen.

Teen Finds Comfort in Virtual Grief Support During COVID-19 Pandemic

Valerie's House teen, Stori, is spending the last months of her senior year at home. Major end-of-year events are canceled, including prom and graduation. Stori wishes she was spending this time making lasting memories with her friends, because they are all going their separate ways in the Fall.

The one person who would be able to help Stori make sense of it all is not here, and that is one of the biggest challenges she's facing right now. When Stori's mother died in 2015, she lost the person she could rely on most. Stori is not alone. She and other Valerie's House teens were able to discuss their grief as it relates to the current pandemic in their new virtual support group. Stori is glad to have an outlet like Valerie's House where she can express her grief with others her own age and realize her feelings are normal and valid.

Valerie's House Launches Virtual Support Groups

On Monday, March 30, 2020, Valerie’s House launched its first virtual grief support groups. As a result of the COVID-19 pandemic, groups are not able to meet at Valerie’s House’s three locations. In order to continuing supporting families through the crisis, Valerie’s House adopted policies and procedures to provide group support through Zoom for Healthcare. The HIPAA compliant software will help maintain each participants privacy that they’ve come to expect with their grief support groups at Valerie’s House.

CLICK HERE to watch WINK News story.

Valerie’s House to Launch Virtual Grief Support Groups

Staying connected more important than ever for those grieving

FORT MYERS, Fla. – March 23, 2020 – Valerie’s House, a non-profit organization in Southwest Florida with its sole mission to help children grieve, is launching virtual grief support groups for children and adult caregivers.  Using a secure and HIPAA compliant platform, the virtual support groups will be available to all children and families in the Valerie’s House program starting Monday, March 30th.

Due to restrictions brought on by the COVID-19 pandemic, Valerie’s House families are not able to meet in-person for their regularly scheduled grief support group sessions. Valerie’s House locations in Fort Myers and Naples are currently closed to the public. However, staff members are working remotely to keep families connected to each other and to Valerie’s House during these uncertain times.

“Grief can be such an isolating experience by itself,” said Angela Melvin, Founder and CEO of Valerie’s House. “New protocols keeping families from group gatherings have our children and families feeling even more alone and anxious.  These groups will allow children to stay in touch with their friends and with the Valerie’s House team for ongoing support.”

Children and caregivers will meet on their regularly scheduled grief support night on the virtual platform, for the easiest transition. The peer support groups will be led by the trained group facilitator the children and families are already comfortable with and trust. Valerie’s House is also providing grief support activities for children to work on with their families at home.

In addition to providing virtual grief support groups, Valerie’s House has launched a weekly e-newsletter to families and is focusing its efforts on connecting families with additional resources in the community that are available to help them during this time.

Valerie’s House is accepting appointments for new enrollments. Families in need of grief support for children can reach Program Director Amy Strom by phone at 239-841-9186 or by emailing amy@valerieshouseswfl.org.

About Valerie’s House

As the first and only organization in Southwest Florida with the sole mission of helping children grieve, Valerie’s House has helped more than 1,000 children and their families since opening its doors in 2016.  Valerie’s House provides a safe, comfortable place to heal together following the death of someone they love. Valerie’s House offers support groups and other activities at a home at 1762 Fowler Street in Fort Myers and a home in Naples at 819 Myrtle Terrace. Valerie’s House also holds group meetings at 1st United Methodist Church in Punta Gorda. Valerie’s House is a United Way partner agency and is fully supported through community donations that can be made online at www.valerieshouseswfl.org or by mail to Valerie’s House, Inc., P.O. Box 1955, Fort Myers, FL 33902.

Podcast Aims to Reach Those Grieving in the Shadows

Valerie’s House “Grieve Love Heal” Podcast on Apple, Spotify and Google

FORT MYERS, Fla. – February 18, 2020 – Valerie’s House, the first and only organization in Southwest Florida with the sole mission of helping children grieve the loss of a loved one, is now helping thousands more people struggling with grief through its monthly podcast, “Grieve Love Heal.”  The Valerie’s House podcast is now listed on Apple Podcasts, Spotify and Google Podcasts. Listeners can subscribe and receive alerts on their devices when Valerie’s House posts a new episode each month.

“For some, grief is not something they are ready to talk about, but they are ready to listen to someone else who has gone through it, and survived it,” said Angela Melvin, Valerie’s House Founder and CEO, whose own mother, Valerie, who the center is named after, died when Angela was a child. “The Grieve Love Heal podcast is a way we can reach those people grieving in the shadows.”

Valerie’s House families, and others in the community, who have walked the grief journey are often interviewed for the segments. Recent Grieve Love Heal podcast episodes have touched on topics like grieving as a young adult, losing a mother to breast cancer and going back to school after the death of a parent.

Produced by Valerie’s House Communications Coordinator and former NBC2 Executive Producer April Reilly, the Grieve Love Heal podcast also serves as a resource for those looking to support someone who is grieving.

“People are consuming information in a variety of ways today,” Reilly said. “With this podcast, we are giving those who are grieving a different way to share and relate so they realize they are not alone.”

Valerie’s House launched the Grieve Love Heal podcast in September 2019 and made it available to various public channels in February 2020. To listen to the Grieve Love Heal podcast, search for “Valerie’s House” or “Grieve Love Heal” on Apple Podcasts, Spotify and Google.

About Valerie’s House

Valerie’s House opened in January 2016 in a cozy home in downtown Fort Myers and has grown to three locations and to help more than 800 grieving children and their families by providing a safe, comfortable place to heal together following the death of someone they love. Valerie’s House offers support groups and other activities at a home at 1762 Fowler Street in Fort Myers and a home in Naples at 819 Myrtle Terrace. Valerie’s House also holds group meetings at First United Methodist Church in Punta Gorda. Valerie’s House is a United Way partner agency and is fully supported through community donations that can be made online at www.valerieshouseswfl.org or by mail to Valerie’s House, Inc., P.O. Box 1955, Fort Myers, FL 33902.

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Links to Grieve Love Heal podcast:

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/grieve-love-heal/id1497602393

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3GFLfSHmNxDMHsOpAY5poJ

Google Podcasts: https://bit.ly/2SEvtcD

Talking to a Child About Death

Valerie’s House Program Director Offers Guidance for Parents

kobe bryant and daughter gianna (13) both killed in helicopter crash.
source: CNN

Fort Myers, Florida – January 27, 2020 – The death of basketball icon, Kobe Bryant and eight others in a helicopter crash, may bring up difficult questions from children about death. Valerie’s House, the first and only organization in Southwest Florida focused solely on helping children grieve, is offering tips on the best ways to approach a conversation about grief and loss with a child.

“It is normal for humans to grieve the loss of a celebrity or athlete such as Bryant,” said Valerie’s House Program Director, Amy Strom LCSW-QS, M.S.S.A., M.Ed. “Children and adults often create connections with celebrities by idolizing them or viewing them as mentors.”

Strom suggests having an open conversation with a child, while keeping in mind their developmental stage and level of understanding. Strom says experiencing feelings of grief after a connection is lost is normal, even if the grief is related to a person you never met. She’s provided the following suggestions for talking to a child about death.

Identify a child’s level of understanding

• Ask the child what they understand about death or grief.

• A younger child may not understand the permanence of death.

• Be sure to let them know they can speak openly with you and you’re there to answer their questions the best you can.

• Use language and content that is appropriate for your child.

Validate their feelings, without invoking anxiety or fear.

• Acknowledge that whatever they are feeling is okay, whether it be sadness or worry or shock.

• Oftentimes knowledge is power. The more knowledge you provide, the less your child will “fill in the blanks” with their imagination.

• If a child expresses fear of losing someone close to them, reassure them that mom or dad take safety precautions or maintain a healthy lifestyle, such as buckling up when traveling or eating healthy and exercising.

For more resources about children’s grief or to refer a child who may be grieving, visit www.valerieshouseswfl.org or call 239-204-5804.

About Valerie’s House

Valerie’s House opened in January 2016 in a cozy home in downtown Fort Myers and has grown to three locations and to help more than 800 grieving children and their families by providing a safe, comfortable place to heal together following the death of someone they love. Valerie’s House offers support groups and other activities at a home at 1762 Fowler Street in Fort Myers and a home in Naples at 819 Myrtle Terrace. Valerie’s House also holds group meetings at 1st United Methodist Church in Punta Gorda. Valerie’s House is a United Way partner agency and is fully supported through community donations that can be made online at www.valerieshouseswfl.org or by mail to Valerie’s House, Inc., P.O. Box 1955, Fort Myers, FL 33902.

Grieving Florida Everblades Player Visits Valerie’s House

Hockey player Hunter Garlent opens up about the loss of his father to children

Hunter garlent speaks with group of children and teens at Valerie’s house in fort myers, florida.

Hunter garlent wears number 65; the year his father was born.

FORT MYERS, Fla. – January 22, 2020 – Florida Everblades player Hunter Garlent is building connections with children of Valerie’s House, while at the same addressing his own grief. 24-year-old Garlent visited the organization’s Fort Myers grieving center located at 1762 Fowler Street on January 21 and shared his experience of losing his father six years ago to a heart attack.

“I have never been embarrassed about losing a parent, and you shouldn’t either,” Garlent told the children.  “It is good to keep their memories alive and find someone to talk to about your feelings.  Don’t keep it bottled up inside.”

Garlent met with a group of about 40 middle and high schoolers at Valerie’s House who’ve also suffered the loss of a parent. Garlent answered questions from the group about how he stayed strong when he was sad and how his father’s death has motivated him to be successful in hockey, a sport his father also played.

“Hunter’s presence during our group nights has enabled children to see that if he can rise out of his pain and loss, maybe they can too,” said Valerie’s House Founder and CEO Angela Melvin. “He’s a big deal to them and they listen to him.”

Garlent said he wants to provide opportunities for Valerie’s House families to attend Florida Everblades games regularly and go behind the scenes at Hertz Arena, where the Blades play. Garlent is going to be visiting several Valerie’s House group nights over the month, and is hopeful to become a volunteer and work directly with the children he identifies with.

“I’ve really grown from my grief,” Garlent told the children. “We learn to cherish every moment we have with the people we love.”

About Valerie’s House

Valerie’s House opened in January 2016 in a cozy home in downtown Fort Myers and has grown to three locations and to help more than 800 grieving children and their families by providing a safe, comfortable place to heal together following the death of someone they love. Valerie’s House offers support groups and other activities at a home at 1762 Fowler Street in Fort Myers and a home in Naples at 819 Myrtle Terrace. Valerie’s House also holds group meetings at 1st United Methodist Church in Punta Gorda. Valerie’s House is a United Way partner agency and is fully supported through community donations that can be made online at www.valerieshouseswfl.org or by mail to Valerie’s House, Inc., P.O. Box 1955, Fort Myers, FL 33902. 

Understanding Children's Grief: Training Guide

In this video, we outline the universal realities of grief, the impact of grief by developmental age and how to talk to a grieving child.

Valerie's House Child Takes Reporter on a Tour

9-year-old Sydney Emery has been coming to Valerie’s House for over a year with her older sister, father and grandmother. The family suffered a tremendous loss in January of 2018, when wife and mother, Jill, passed away following a long battle with breast cancer. Sydney is now able to open up to others about her grief and is helping to spread awareness for Valerie’s House.

On December 4th, 2019, Sydney volunteered to share her story of loss with a reporter who was covering a news story about Valerie’s House. When it came time for the reporter to take a tour of the Fort Myers home, Sydney was happy to show her around.

Sydney started the tour by taking WINK News Reporter Melinda Lee over to the Teddy Bear Library, a unit of shelves packed full of stuffed animals, blankets and journals. Sydney explained that children get to pick out one of the stuffed animals when they arrive at Valerie’s House for the first time.

Next up, Sydney walked Melinda over to the Memory Wall, a part of the house adorned with pictures of moms, dads, brothers, sisters and grandparents who have all passed away. Sydney pointed out a picture of her, her sister and her mother. The three of them were all smiling during a day at the beach. The picture was taken years before Jill passed away.

Sydney continued her tour with Melinda by showing her some of the artwork children at Valerie’s House have created. She explained the rules children follow during each group night. She demonstrated the colors of emotion painted on a cluster of cardboard masks. Sydney even enlightened Melinda on some of the feelings she carries on the inside related to the loss of her mother.

As Sydney walked Melinda outside to the memory garden, Valerie’s House Founder and CEO Angela Melvin joined them. Angela sat with Sydney as they both reflected on their own losses. They talked about how old they both were when they lost their moms, while Melinda grabbed video of the two of them sitting side by side on a bench, surrounded by flowers.

Sydney had to keep her visit short, as she and her family had to leave to pick up her older sister. But, Sydney was hesitant to leave, begging her grandmother to stay for just 15 more minutes. Of course, Sydney was welcome to stay as long as she liked. After all, once you come through the doors at Valerie’s House, you’re family.

View Melinda Lee’s story produced about Valerie’s House here.

Not Just a Girl Who Lost Her Mother

Carl and Joslynn's lives were changed forever when wife and mother, Shoshana died in a car accident in 2016. When they found Valerie's House in 2018, they were able to connect with others who had also experienced a major loss. Through support received at Valerie's House, they can cope with this unimaginable loss.

Valerie’s House Plans to Build a New Home in Fort Myers

Valerie’s House is one step closer to building it’s dream home in Fort Myers. On October 21, city council members unanimously agreed to lease a plot of land on Shoemaker Lane to Valerie’s House. The measure allows for Valerie’s House to pay 50$ to lease the land for 50 years. The agreement would then be renewable for an additional 49 years. Valerie’s House must clear the land off of Veronica Shoemaker Boulevard before building can begin.

Valerie’s House Founder & CEO Angela Melvin envisions a two-story home with a wrap-around porch. She says it will keep the style of a historic Fort Myers home. The features of the new home will differ from the current one. Melvin hopes to create a “volcano” room in the new home, similar to the one utilized in the Naples home. It’s a padded room equipped with punching bags and balls. Children use this room to release pent up anger or energy. Read about our Naples Home.

"The house is going to allow us to get real creative with how we work with the emotions of children," Valerie’s House Founder and CEO Angela Melvin said. Click here to read more from the News Press.

Comfort Bags for Grieving Children

Austin Wolin's Eagle Scout project to help grieving children is complete. He's delivered dozens of bags stuffed with bears, blankets, and coloring books to Golisano Children's Hospital of SWFL. The bags also contain a personal letter from Austin about the loss of his father. He hopes these bags will provide a small amount of comfort to other children after they lose a loved one and let them know they are not alone.