Talking to a Child About Death

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Valerie’s House Program Director Offers Guidance for Parents

kobe bryant and daughter gianna (13) both killed in helicopter crash. source: CNN

kobe bryant and daughter gianna (13) both killed in helicopter crash.
source: CNN

Fort Myers, Florida – January 27, 2020 – The death of basketball icon, Kobe Bryant and eight others in a helicopter crash, may bring up difficult questions from children about death. Valerie’s House, the first and only organization in Southwest Florida focused solely on helping children grieve, is offering tips on the best ways to approach a conversation about grief and loss with a child.

“It is normal for humans to grieve the loss of a celebrity or athlete such as Bryant,” said Valerie’s House Program Director, Amy Strom LCSW-QS, M.S.S.A., M.Ed. “Children and adults often create connections with celebrities by idolizing them or viewing them as mentors.”

Strom suggests having an open conversation with a child, while keeping in mind their developmental stage and level of understanding. Strom says experiencing feelings of grief after a connection is lost is normal, even if the grief is related to a person you never met. She’s provided the following suggestions for talking to a child about death.

Identify a child’s level of understanding

  • Ask the child what they understand about death or grief.

  • A younger child may not understand the permanence of death.

  • Be sure to let them know they can speak openly with you and you’re there to answer their questions the best you can.

  • Use language and content that is appropriate for your child.

Validate their feelings, without invoking anxiety or fear.

  • Acknowledge that whatever they are feeling is okay, whether it be sadness or worry or shock.

  • Oftentimes knowledge is power. The more knowledge you provide, the less your child will “fill in the blanks” with their imagination.

  • If a child expresses fear of losing someone close to them, reassure them that mom or dad take safety precautions or maintain a healthy lifestyle, such as buckling up when traveling or eating healthy and exercising.

For more resources about children’s grief or to refer a child who may be grieving, visit www.valerieshouseswfl.org or call 239-204-5804.

About Valerie’s House

Valerie’s House opened in January 2016 in a cozy home in downtown Fort Myers and has grown to three locations and to help more than 800 grieving children and their families by providing a safe, comfortable place to heal together following the death of someone they love. Valerie’s House offers support groups and other activities at a home at 1762 Fowler Street in Fort Myers and a home in Naples at 819 Myrtle Terrace. Valerie’s House also holds group meetings at 1st United Methodist Church in Punta Gorda. Valerie’s House is a United Way partner agency and is fully supported through community donations that can be made online at www.valerieshouseswfl.org or by mail to Valerie’s House, Inc., P.O. Box 1955, Fort Myers, FL 33902.