What Grieving Children Hear — and Why We Must Do Better
/By Valerie’s House Communications Team
Published November 10, 2025
A Powerful Message from Our Founder and CEO, Angela Melvin
This November, during Children’s Grief Awareness Month, The News-Press gave Valerie’s House Founder and CEO Angela Melvin an important platform to speak directly to our community about what grieving children are truly hearing — and why we must do better.
📖 Read Angela’s full op-ed in The News-Press here:
👉 https://www.news-press.com/story/opinion/2025/11/08/what-grieving-children-hear-and-why-we-must-do-better-opinion/87121192007/?gnt-cfr=1&gca-cat=p&gca-uir=true&gca-epti=z112604p000050c000050d00----v112604b0053xxd005365&gca-ft=236&gca-ds=sophi
In her direct and compassionate opinion piece, Angela writes about the words children often hear after losing someone they love — phrases like “get over it,” “it’s been a year,” or “stop using your loss as an excuse.” These statements, while often unintentional, can have lasting effects on a child’s emotional development and sense of belonging.
At Valerie’s House, we see every day how listening, empathy, and consistent support can change the direction of a child’s life. Angela’s message challenges all of us to think about how we respond to grief — and how our words can either help children heal or deepen their pain.
We’re deeply proud of Angela for using her voice to speak truth on behalf of the thousands of grieving children in Southwest Florida who deserve to be seen, supported, and understood.
Why This Conversation Matters
More than 1 in 12 children in the United States will experience the death of a parent or sibling by age 18. Without support, the emotional toll can lead to lifelong challenges — from isolation and depression to difficulty forming trusting relationships.
Valerie’s House exists to ensure that no child grieves alone. Through peer support groups, grief counseling, and activities that promote connection, we create a space where families can share stories, find comfort, and rebuild hope together.
Angela’s words remind us that being present matters more than having the right answer. Instead of saying, “You’ll feel better soon,” we can say, “Tell me about your mom.” Instead of encouraging a child to move on, we can let them know it’s okay to miss someone forever — because love doesn’t end when a person dies.
Read Angela’s Full Opinion Piece Below
For those who may have trouble reading the article image or accessing the News-Press link, the full text of Angela Melvin’s op-ed, “What Grieving Children Hear — and Why We Must Do Better,” is transcribed below.
Full Article Transcript
What Grieving Children Hear — and Why We Must Do Better
By Angela Melvin, Founder and CEO of Valerie’s House
Originally published in The News-Press, November 8, 2025
“You should be over it by now.”
“It’s been a year.”
“Stop using your loss as an excuse.”
These are the words grieving children and teens in our community hear every day. And while they may be spoken casually, their impact lasts a lifetime.
When a child loses a parent, a sibling, or someone they deeply love, their entire world changes. They see other families that look whole while theirs feels broken. They hear classmates say, “At least your mom isn’t suffering anymore,” or, “You’re lucky you still have your dad.” What they don’t hear enough is, “I’m here for you.”
At Valerie’s House, we sit in circles every week with children who are trying to understand why the people around them think grief has a time limit. Grief is not a phase to complete. It is a lifelong relationship with loss.
Children tell us they feel pressure to pretend they’re okay, to smile at school, to move on. But they still cry in secret. They still wonder who will walk them down the aisle one day, or cheer for them at graduation. They still ache for hugs that will never come back.
Adults need to understand that children who don’t get support often grow up to be adults who still feel alone in their grief. They may struggle to trust others, to form relationships, or to cope in healthy ways.
The solution starts with listening. Listening without judgment. Listening without rushing to offer advice. Listening without changing the subject.
If a child says, “I miss my mom,” say, “Tell me about her.” If they’re angry, let them be angry. If they’re sad, let them be sad. When we make space for grief, we make space for healing.
This month — Children’s Grief Awareness Month — I ask our community to think about the words we use with children who are hurting. The right words can bring comfort. The wrong ones can deepen their pain.
Every child deserves a safe place to grieve. That’s why Valerie’s House exists. Because grief shared becomes grief carried — together.
Angela Melvin is the Founder and CEO of Valerie’s House, a nonprofit organization providing grief support programs for children and families throughout Southwest Florida. Learn more at valerieshouse.org.
Join Us in Supporting Grieving Children
If Angela’s message resonates with you, we invite you to share this article and help raise awareness this Children’s Grief Awareness Month. Together, we can build a community that listens, understands, and helps every child know they are not alone.
👉 Learn more or get involved: https://valerieshouse.org
👉 Donate to support our programs: https://valerieshouseswfl.networkforgood.com/projects/50535-no-child-grieves-alone
